Wellbeing: An Invitation to a Flourishing LifeSample

Acceptance not Control

A prayer often attributed to twentieth-century theologian Reinhold Niebuhr and popularised, in various forms, through twelve-step recovery programs is, “Father, give us the courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.” This prayer and ones like it have brought breakthroughs to countless people on the journey to recovery from addiction. One of the biggest struggles of addiction is that the addict wants to be able to control their emotions. When they fail to do this themselves, they turn to their addictions to lift their mood.

The reality is that most of us, addicts or otherwise, have very little control over our emotions. Even more than that, we have very little control over our environments. In Matthew 6:27, Jesus says, “Can any one of you, by worrying, add a single hour to your life?” Have you ever lain in bed unable to sleep, feeling like your brain just won’t switch off because you’re so worried? Worry is our brain's way of trying to gain control where it has none. We try to visualise and prepare for every possible scenario, but our thoughts often end up going in circles.

A healthy mind doesn’t try to control its situation, a healthy mind accepts that sometimes life will bring hard circumstances. When Jesus prayed before His crucifixion, He was in anguish thinking about what He was about to go through. Luke writes, “His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” Despite his agony, Jesus accepted what needed to be done, he prays, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

Jesus was willing to accept His fate because He trusted His Father’s will. Jesus was able to trust that the Father would not put Him through anything that was not ultimately worth it in the end. Acceptance was the first step that Jesus needed to get through the upcoming ordeal.

Thought Point: In what ways do you instinctively try to control your environment? What would it look like for you to be more accepting when facing difficult situations?

Prayer Point: Submit your situation to God. Ask Him to strengthen you and share His peace with you to face your ordeals.