Wellbeing: An Invitation to a Flourishing LifeSample

Beloved

A core concept of most therapy and counselling approaches is unconditional positive regard from the therapist to the client. This means that regardless of what the client says or does, the therapist will regard them positively. This might sound difficult, but if you talk to most therapists, my hunch is that they’ll say it’s honestly not that hard. That’s because when you take the time to listen to people’s stories and understand them, it’s rare to find someone who doesn’t make sense.

In everyday life, we only get a tiny window into someone’s mind and what formed them. But, when you consider their early life experiences, what they’ve been taught, and the pressures they were under, you’ll find that most people deserve compassion.

The reason ‘unconditional positive regard’ is so crucial to counselling is that it has shown that a strong therapeutic relationship (one where the therapist feels warm to the client, and the client can tell) is a very good predictor of how well the therapy goes. This goes to show just how important it is to feel loved.

This reminds me of how significant it is that God loves us unconditionally. God knows everything about us, even the things we don’t know about ourselves. He understands us deeply and has no trouble understanding why we have done the things we have done. He may be grieved by our actions when we turn away from him, but he always understands, and he loves us unconditionally more deeply than just ‘positive regard’. Even when we’re looking the other way, He’s right alongside us.

Depending on your upbringing and life experiences, accepting that somebody could unconditionally love you may be hard. You may accept these words intellectually yet fail to feel that love, but if you can allow yourself to believe that you are lovable, that God knows you and loves you, and to sink into and experience that love, this can be incredibly healing.

Thought Point: Do you have difficulty accepting God’s love for you? What would it look/feel like for you to experience God’s love fully?

Prayer Point: Ask God for a new outpouring of His love into your heart. Invite the Holy Spirit to bring healing where healing is needed and to know God’s love for you emotionally.