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The Work of Grieving

"I'm done," he said with the flattest eyes I have ever seen. And with that, I was catapulted into an up-close relationship with grief and the full-time work of grieving. Maybe this is where you find yourself today. Overwhelmed with the new normal you didn't expect, and unsure how to navigate these difficult days. Maybe you're confused with the tidal wave of emotions, and the unexplained exhaustion, coupled with bursts of anger, brain fog and anxiety.

My friend, this is grief. It is not an experience reserved for death. Grief is a placeholder for what was. It occupies the space where dreams once lived. Where there is sorrow, there is grief.

Grief is not linear - and for this reason, we cannot expect ourselves to travel neatly through stages towards acceptance. Grief crashes in on us unexpectedly, and we will find ourselves feeling caught in the two steps forward, one (or two) step back dance of things.

Please be patient with yourself. Allow the ebb and flow, let yourself cry when you need to and be careful not to judge your grief or your story against the grief and story of another. Your grief journey is as unique as you are, and the Bible is full of examples of the men and women who have grieved deeply through their own losses.

Here are some you're probably familiar with: Jesus grieved when His friend Lazarus died (Luke 11:35). Job grieved deeply when everything he loved was taken away (Job 1:20). Naomi grieved the death of her husband and sons (Ruth 1:3-5). Mary Magdalene grieved when Jesus died, and then again when she thought His body had been stolen (John 20:11-18).

But what about our Samaritan sister at the well in John 4? Or the woman who bled in Luke 8? And what about Tamar in Genesis 38?

These women were no strangers to sorrow. They grieved a life they didn't have, and a story they didn't choose. They grieved for the loss of safety, for health, and for a fairy tale ending that never came.

In many ways, you and I can relate to this type of suffering, can't we? We understand this type of grief.

But God does not leave His grieving children alone. One of my favourite passages is in Lamentations, "You came near when I called you, and you said, 'Do not fear. You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life." Lamentations 3:57-58 (NIV)

Friend, our cries reach the ears and the heart of our Heavenly Father. Psalm 18:6 says, "in my distress, I cried out to you, the delivering God, and from your temple-throne, you heard my troubled cry, and my sobs went right into your heart." (TPT).

It is healthy to grieve, and when we let our grieving drive us to the feet of Jesus, looking to Him through the pain, He promises in His Word to comfort us (Matthew 5:4), and give us rest (Matthew 11:28).

You are not alone in your grief. The King of Heaven is actively involved in every aspect of your story. And today, as you grieve look to Him to do what He promises. He can be trusted and He will carry you through this painful season.

Healing Activity

Spend some time in the Psalms today and read through the grieving prayers of David. And then choose one that connects with you and where you're at in the grieving process today. Write it out, underline the parts that stand out to you, and commit to reading this Psalm many times a day.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, I'm grieving. This painful experience in my life has brought me to my knees, and I feel so broken and overwhelmed by all of it. Please heal my heart, Lord. I invite you into the pain and ask for your comfort and peace. Help me to believe what you say about me. Please give me the strength to face this giant with your truths and lead me to a greater understanding of who you say I am. In Jesus’ Name, Amen