Confessions of God's People Stuck in the MiddleSample

Confessions of a Scared Runaway - David

Oh my God,

Help me! My heart is beating in my chest, and I can't catch my breath. I'm so scared. Saul is coming for me. He wants me dead. He has so much power and troops. I don't know how I'll keep away from him. He's breathing down my neck.

I don't sleep well, every little sound wakes me, and I lay awake gripping my sword, waiting for an attack. I know you've kept me safe in the past, I try to remember that and focus, but this seems completely different.

The other day when my servant girl brought me my food, I felt like she didn't look me right in the eye. So I became paranoid and made her come back and take a bite of it to make sure it wasn't poisoned. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I am paranoid about everyone. I don't feel safe anywhere, and I try to read each person to see if they are trustworthy or not.

I miss the peaceful days. I long for home, that feeling of safety and security, for someone to take care of me, and the soft sounds of bleating sheep. The rustle of the wind and the sweet music that my flock loved so much. Can I even make music anymore? Do I have anything left in my heart but dread?

The Scared Runaway

David, my Beloved,

You are a man after my own heart. I don't say that about everyone. I am your Rock and Fortress, remember? Now you look back with fond memories of those days in the field, but don't let your memory deceive you. Remember your early days? You were terrified, curled up by the fire, peering into the darkness searching for lions and bears, your sling getting sweaty in your palms. I provided for you and protected you. I am the God who saved you then, and I am still the God who will keep you. You shake in fear at night, but you are a child of the light. Remember who you are.

I am the one who fights for you. I am your strength and shield from all that you are afraid of. It may seem confusing and dark now, but I am working out something beautiful. You don't have to work for my protection and love. I don't look at anyone's qualifications. No one can earn my love. I give it freely.

After all, what is the worst that someone can do to you? When I am yours, you have nothing to be afraid of.

So be strong and courageous. I am with you always.

God, Your Protector