Born to Bloom, Heal From Sexual AbuseSample

Boundaries

What are boundaries, and how do we establish them in our lives so that we can live with clarity and peace?

Boundaries are a way of clarifying what is my part and what is yours—what I should and will take ownership of and what someone else should and will take ownership of. Boundaries determine where we draw the line. They are markers that empower us to do what works for us, allowing us to give without giving too much, enabling us to care without becoming codependent, and allowing us to live our lives in ways that keep us healthy.

Boundaries by very nature mean being able to say no. Because of your abuse, it may be difficult for you to say no. You may feel that your voice and opinions don’t matter, that they aren’t heard anyway, so what is the use. You may have felt responsible for others and therefore developed unhealthy empathy. You are here to build your strength, to learn to say no and to take responsibility for your parts of life only, not the parts that are the responsibility of someone else.

Empathy is a positive quality when it leads us to take healthy actions in a healthy way with safe people. On the other hand, if empathy has caused you to be codependent, (meaning doing something for someone that they should be doing for themselves,) then it is time to take a look at boundaries in each area of your life and begin learning what to say yes to and what to say no to.

By their very definition, boundaries mean that we are choosing to say yes to something, which means we are saying no to something else. This is important in today’s world, because we are surrounded by messages that tell us that everything is acceptable, that all things are good, that we are free to do whatever we want. But there are always consequences to what we choose, and so it is important to protect ourselves by choosing what is good and godly.

As you begin to decide what and who you will allow into your life, remember that God honors your decisions and gives you the freedom to create a good life. He desires for you to have self-control and to be the designer of your own life, making healthy decisions and implementing boundaries even with healthy people.Get rid of any guilt you may have and move forward in the freedom that God gives to you, thus creating a healthy and successful life. A life filled with great peace, happiness, and enjoyment as you experience soundness of mind living an abundant life filled with goodness.

God has given us His Word to tell us that He has not given us a spirit of timidity, but He gives us the Holy Spirit which gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

You are strong my friend! You are wise and discerning, able to make healthy decisions to give you a good life. Speak life over yourself: I AM strong, I AM wise and know how to set healthy boundaries. I AM able to follow through. I AM filled with the Holy Spirit of power.