Opposing Talk

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

The saying goes, "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." When it comes to communication in marriage, we’re not so sure about the equal part of the opposing reaction. It’s not uncommon for one spouse to amplify their response to what was originally said if taken as an attack.

Frequent and respectful communications will help prepare both spouses for those times when one retreats to an unhealthy attitude and launches an attack in retaliation. When unhealthy communications do arise, make it your commitment to each other to always fight fair.

How do you keep the communications balanced even if one of you has seemed to take an extremely opposing position? Be quick to take responsibility for your own actions. This is your beloved spouse after all and not some street-level encounter. Next, get help. If you both are unable to resolve it, then submit to a friend, mentor, or counselor. Humble yourself to seek wise advice and follow it. Refuse to remain on opposite ends because it’s so much more pleasant meeting in the middle.

True Talk:

Plan for times when you’ll both be on such opposite sides of an argument that you fail to see each other. Those times will come. Talk now and set boundaries, make assurances and be practical about how conflict will be resolved when there seems to be no middle ground.