The Secret: How Do You See Love?Sample

Godliness Is Sexy

Written By: Lyli Dunbar

“The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so he set the royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti.”—Esther 2:17 (NKJV)

Once upon a time, I thought Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome would sweep me off my feet in a sleek car dressed like a GQ model, and we’d live happily ever after.

I bought into the world’s version of romance and ended up heartbroken. I should have known I’d end up alone in a puddle of tears when my dad’s response to meeting my boyfriend was, “He’s not a bad guy, but he’ll never marry you.”

Just two weeks later, I sulked at home with a pint of ice cream and one spoon. Thankfully, a friend rescued me with an invitation to a singles Bible study.

I’d never attended a service geared specifically to singles, and the experience was eye opening. The pastor opened up the Bible and shared how its principles applied to every area of my life—including whom I dated. I soon learned to love God’s Word and decided to surrender my desire for a husband to God while I invested in developing strong friendships with other women and using my gifts to serve at church.  

Two years later, one of the singles group leaders teared up as he shared how he’d befriended two men who’d lost their homes and were living on the street. I was impressed by his tenderhearted concern for the hurting victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Today, that guy with the big heart is my husband. We served together during an outreach that Christmas and forged a friendship that blossomed into love. I wanted to marry a gorgeous guy, but God wanted me to partner with a godly man.

As we put on the corrective lenses of God’s Word, we begin to understand what is truly attractive. Physical appearance will fade, but a beautiful character strengthens as couples face the hardships of life together.

We don’t marry just a body, but a whole person comprised of body, soul, and spirit. Esther stood apart from the harem because her greatest beauty emanated from a submissive heart. Likewise, in Song of Solomon, the bride was enamored not only with her lover’s looks, but also by the fragrance of his inner life. She declared that his name was like anointed oil being poured out (Song of Solomon 1:3 ESV).

As we grow in wisdom, we learn that godliness is actually pretty sexy.

DIG: Read Song of Solomon 4:12. What attracted the lover to his bride?

DISCOVER: Does your definition of attractiveness match God’s wisdom? Spend this week praying for God to give you His perspective on love and romance.

DISPLAY: Take inventory of your inner attractiveness by reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and inserting your name in place of the word “love.”