From Pain 2 Purpose: Begin to Process Loss and Forge AheadSample

The Incremental Process of Letting Go and Holding On (Part 2)

Grieving a loss in a productive way is a process that includes a series of small and repeated choices to let go and hold on. That is what we propose here—making a series of intentional choices to let go of those things that are unproductive and hold on to those things that will help us move forward. We don’t need to, nor can we, move through this grieving process quickly or in big chunks. But as you journey, it will not just be about choosing to let go and hold on; it will also be about receiving—receiving healing, spiritual strength, a renewed sense of wholeness, peace of mind, and a renewed sense of purpose.

In this journey you will have to repeatedly make choices to:

• Let go of the unrealistic expectation that the grieving process will be quick or easy, and hold on to the hope that you can move forward to a new normal and a more abundant life.

• Let go of certain unproductive views of yourself that lead to grieving alone, and hold on to the comfort you receive from others.

• Let go of unproductive guilt and regrets, such as wishing you had been there more for your loved one, cared for him better, or shown more love and patience, and hold on to the freedom that forgiveness brings.

• Let go of unproductive anger you may have, especially toward God, and hold on to the belief that he cares and has certain promises for you to claim. You will be able to hold on to the truth that he has a renewed hope and future in store for you.

• Let go of anxiety and fears of the future, and hold on to the assurance that God is with you and loves you no matter what.

• Let go of the unproductive belief that you control your own destiny, and hold on to a confident trust that God has your present and eternal future in his hands.

• Let go of your past normal by offering God your present broken and shattered life, and hold on to your new normal and renewed purpose that God will reveal.