Sexual Touch Boundaries & ScriptureSample

SONG OF SONGS AND THE QUESTION, “HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?”

Physical intimacy with the opposite sex before marriage is like scooping fire on your lap and expecting nothing to happen (Prov. 6:27). Duffy Robbins said, "You can't spend your time heating up hormones – by indulging in petting – and expect nothing to come out of it!"

The young lady in Song of Songs describes the way she is physically intimate with her man very graphically: "His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me" (SS 2:6 NLT). Shortly after this statement, comes the call which was referred to earlier in this piece: "Promise me, O Women of Jerusalem…not to awaken love until the time is right" (v. 7).

Keeping the context of this verse just quoted, we can conclusively say that the young woman of Song of Songs is saying this: "Do not get physically intimate with the opposite sex until the time is right! Show some temperance. Show self-control!" And we know from Scripture that 'the right time' for climaxing one's sexual desires is within the boundary of marriage. Therefore true romantic love certainly will not indulge in intimate touching of the opposite gender before marriage.

Sure, the couple in Song of Songs did pet and fondle each other a lot. The man in question in this book 'browses among the lilies' (2:16). He also goes to his garden 'to pasture and pluck lilies' (6:2). And you know what – sheep never eat lilies! So obviously in the boy's vocabulary the girl is the "lily" he wants to pluck – fondle, caress and touch intimately (See 2:2)! But remember they were already married (5:16).

The young man calls the girl, several times over, his "bride" – not girlfriend (4:8,9,10,11,12; 5:1). So we learn from Song of Songs that petting is out of bounds for those not married to each other.
Physical intimacy with the opposite sex before marriage is like scooping fire on your lap and expecting nothing to happen (Prov. 6:27). Duffy Robbins said, "You can't spend your time heating up hormones – by indulging in petting – and expect nothing to come out of it!"