DiscernmentSample

Communicate Beyond Words!

Communication is the lifeline of any association. Yet, it is a fragile thread that can be snapped with insensitivity and crudeness. Contrarily, it can be strengthened with gentleness, patience and silence. Good managers and executives display an unmatched skill at the right art of weaving this lifeline. Jesus, the best, all-time successful leader knew this better than anyone else, as we read in the verse above.

‘The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said’, held Peter Drucker, the world-renowned American management guru whose life-long commitment to learning and researching fostered a whole new way to work and live with purpose and efficiency. Discernment in communication thus goes beyond words and speech to the realm of silence and includes such subtle factors as body language, gestures, facial expressions, poise, attentiveness and attitude. Great managers are aware of this and they either have this inner wisdom or develop it along their journey to leadership positions.

One manager, to whom I reported during a short working stint, was an elderly man, who, I observed, used the power of silence effectively. This insight regarding silence in conversation, he claimed, came from an advice he got from his father soon after he was married. ‘My dad said to me plainly, “Learn to not only listen to what your wife is saying, but also to listen to every word she isn’t saying!”. This helped me right through the ups and downs of my family life, besides bringing me success in my worklife’, he said, with a twinkle in his eyes.

This is also the exact wisdom that the Bible teaches. In Pro 17:27, we read, The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Likewise, in Jas 1:19, we read, My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

The 12th-13th century friar, Francis of Assisi, translated this wisdom into the following instruction to his brother friars to go into the village and preach about the love of God, saying, ‘Use words if necessary’.

Lord, give me the grace to listen with patience and the good sense to curb my speech. Amen