Ephesians: His Glorious RichesSample

Paul moves from marriage to the relationship between parents and children. He begins by directly addressing the children, giving them two commands (vv. 1–3). 

They are to obey their parents in all things (v. 1). Paul probably has dependent children in mind. The goal of parents is to give children roots and wings (5:31), but while they are at home they are under parental direction (Col. 3:20–21). Jesus modelled this perfectly (Luke 2:50–51). 

They are also to honour their parents (v. 2). Children must treat their parents with respect – their obedience should not be sullen or grudging. Adult children have an ongoing responsibility of care for their parents. 

There are three reasons for doing this: first, it is right (v. 1) – society depends on the stability of the family (Rom. 1:30; 2 Tim. 3:2). Second, it is commanded (v. 2) – it is part of God’s will for us (Ex. 20:12; Deut. 5:16). Third, it is wise (v. 3) – God promises to bless those who follow the wise and loving direction of godly parents (Deut. 6:4–9; Prov. 1:8–19). 

Paul then turns to fathers (v. 4). Mothers clearly have a vital part to play (Prov. 31; 2 Tim. 1:5; 3:14–17), but God holds fathers particularly responsible for the spiritual atmosphere of the home. 

The first command is negative: fathers must not exasperate their children. This is done when discipline is too harsh or capricious and the child is crushed, or when it is too indulgent and the child is spoilt. It is manifest in ridicule, sarcasm, favouritism, neglect or overprotection. We must allow children to be children. 

The second command is positive: fathers are to be proactive in raising their children. They are to give them spiritual instruction, teaching and applying God’s Word to their lives (Deut. 6:4–9). Of course parents are also to nourish and nurture their children (compare 5:29), caring for their physical, emotional and educational needs. They are to fondly cherish them. Our children need our time, our prayers and our wise discipline (Heb. 12:5–11). Training children is directional and involves rewards and punishments. 

We must distinguish childish irresponsibility from wilful disobedience. Sometimes children make childish mistakes and need our comfort and encouragement. Here we can model the gospel of grace. On other occasions their actions are a direct challenge to our authority and we need to confront this. 

Reflection

How might you turn this passage into prayer to strengthen the families of the people you know (Ps. 103:17–18; Prov. 22:6)?