Missing PeaceSample

Relational Peace 

Uncertainty tends to magnify conflict and strong opinions. And in a season where “unprecedented” may be the word of the year, we’ve all faced some conflict. 

Whether it’s political arguments that start over holiday dinners, social media comments that get a little heated, or having tough conversations about boundaries, sometimes the people we love the most can also cause us the most stress. 

But peace is possible in our relationships. In fact, bringing peace to the world is something we’re called to do as followers of Jesus. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9 NIV

Notice it says “peacemaker”—not “peacekeeper.” Peacemaking is an active process. It doesn’t mean we go along with every opinion that gets thrown out around the dinner table. It also doesn’t mean that we have to agree on everything or never cause conflict. Those actions may create the pretense of peace—but not real peace. 

Although it’s tempting to just ignore conflict or pretend it’s not there, that’s not a loving response. Romans 12:9 reminds us that love must be sincere. If we hide our hurt feelings, we’re not bringing peace—we’re avoiding the process of making peace. 

However, Paul keeps challenging us in Romans 12 to consider what peace really looks like, and it’s not easy. After encouraging us to bless those who hurt us, to avoid seeking revenge, and to live in harmony with others, he issues this challenge: 

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NIV

Notice it says, “as far as it depends on you.” That means we don’t get a pass because of our crazy uncle’s behavior. No matter how chaotic everything looks around us, God still wants us to pursue peace, whether that means engaging someone directly or removing ourselves from a situation if we know that's the best way we can bring peace in that moment.

So, how can you be a peacemaker in all situations? We get a little more wisdom about this from James: 

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18 NIV

Being a peacemaker looks like asking God for wisdom, then testing that wisdom by evaluating whether it’s full of peace or filled with our own pride. It means that although it’s okay for us to share our opinion and voice our concerns, we prioritize other people above ourselves. 

It looks like being humble and gracious when we share our perspective. It means evaluating our motives for sharing and making sure we do so with restoration in mind. And it looks like asking whether our goal is seeking righteousness or being right. 

So, when you find yourself in a situation that needs some relational peace, pause. Assume the best of the other person. Talk about how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking. Be humble. Show empathy. Pray about it. And ask yourself what next action you can take to bring peace to the situation. 

When you do so, you’re being a peacemaker—and you’re being a child of God.