Shrinking The Integrity GapSample
Trauma and Triggers
Most of us go through our days checking off our to-do lists, doing things for God, and achieving our goals. We get mad. We get sad. We surely get frustrated in the middle of rush-hour traffic. But few of us stop to consider that what we are experiencing in the very present— an unhappy marriage, a short temper with our kids, loss of enjoyment in our work—could be more related to our past than what we are currently enduring.
That brings us to triggers. A trigger is an internal response to an external stimulus that the brain associates with a past experience, ultimately influencing an external behavior. Most of the time, these triggers are subconscious and it takes intentionality to uncover their roots.
Maybe you have found yourself reacting in ways that seem far from who you or who others know you to be. Wanting to hide things that scare or embarrass us is a normal reaction but a dangerous one. Burying unresolved trouble won’t keep it hidden. Unaddressed guilt, shame, and other feelings leak into our lives (whether we’re aware of it or not). The longer we attempt to hide or run from these feelings and experiences, the more likely we are to compartmentalize our lives in a way that increases our integrity gaps and the inevitable consequences.
Some triggers hide in compartmentalized parts of our brains as a God-given protection to get us through the tragedy of our stories. In a way, we see this as part of God’s grace in designing us in such a way to help us navigate pain.
Trauma survivors can change the world when their tolerance for difficulties and ability to survive the worst situations are channeled in the right direction—a God-oriented direction. The most radical and courageous leaders are the ones who have vulnerably connected the dots within their stories: processing, grieving, and finally accepting the outcomes. In contrast, the worst kind of leaders are the ones who are least integrated—most compartmentalized—in how they move through their lives, completely unaware of how they affect themselves and others. Whether we admit it or not, our stories matter. God designed us to bring all of who we are to Him and to others so we can experience the closure and healing that will allow us to live with peace in the present and with hope for the future.
NOTE:
Sometimes the only way to face our present and past is with the skilled help of a trained guide. Counselors cannot do the “hike” for you, but they know the trails well and can tell you when you’ve reached the top. You get to take the hike at your own pace but with a guide who can keep you accountable for pacing yourself and finishing well
Scripture
About this Plan
Every good leader wants to align the values we preach with the values they live out. In this reading plan based on Jeff and Terra Mattson’s book, Shrinking the Integrity Gap, see why integrity is important and how our past traumas and triggers can either limit our leadership, or be used by God to lead effectively from a place of integrity and authenticity.
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