Change Your Words, Change Your MarriageSample

 Satan’s Greatest Perversion 

It is God’s plan for your words to soothe the soul of your mate. He wants the words that cross your tongue to foster intimacy. Discover intimacy in your marriage relationship, and unity will quickly follow.

Adam and Eve’s failure and the entrance of sin gave Satan the opening he needed to pervert the things of God, particularly marriage. And the very first thing he distorted was language. Blame was introduced, deception flourished, and unity was destroyed.

I believe the perversion we see in our language is as profound as the perversion we see with sex. I hope this sober thought grabs your attention. Complaining, sarcasm, criticism, judgments, and gossip are as perverted as porn. Am I serious? Very.

Here is a snapshot of what these words do in marriage.

Complaining is poison to your marriage. Few things destroy intimacy as thoroughly as constant complaining. The primary work of the Holy Spirit in a believer’s life is to create fellowship. Complaining quenches the work of the Spirit. It is akin to taking a fire hose to the flames of the Spirit.

Here is why complaining is so destructive. It blinds us from seeing God’s blessings in our life. It sends a message to God, “I don’t believe you are good.” Complaining strikes at the heart of God, because God is good (Ex. 33:19). It makes you incapable of seeing the good things your spouse does.

Extinguish complaining in your marriage, and you will set yourself up to experience intimacy. Fast complaining out of your heart and soul, and you will make space for gratefulness.

Sarcasm—derived from the Greek word, sarkazein. Its literal meaning: to rip the flesh apart like a dog. The problem is that sarcasm is a normal part of our culture today. It is the medium for so much humor, cleverness, and one-upmanship bantering. Sadly, much of the most pointed sarcasm aims at those in authority (elected officials, school personnel, even pastors). But sarcasm reaches its pinnacle of destruction in marriage. Sarcasm aimed at your mate will wound them emotionally and destroy their self-image. 

God has a plan for you in marriage other than complaining and using sarcasm. As you fast these words out of your life, you will stop damaging your relationship. You will begin to rediscover the joy of the Lord in your marriage.