The Grown Woman's Guide to Online Dating: 5 Days of Finding God's Goodness in DatingSample

When I started using online dating apps, the age on each one of my profiles was forty-eight. I knew I did not want to still be on the apps when that number rolled over into the next decade—both because I’m impatient and also because I liked being the hot young babe on the sites for old people. But when fifty was actually approaching, I realized that what was even more important to me than “finding someone while I was still in my forties,” was to not be scrambling frantically to find someone while I was still in my forties. Make sense? I wanted the turn of the decade to be about giving gratitude to God for the beautiful life I’ve been allowed to live, and not about whether or not I’d found my boo. With great delight, thirty days before my half-a-century birthday, I gladly either quit completely or hid my profile on every app. Then, for the month leading up to my big day, I ignored the apps. It was awesome.

I’ve also accepted other kinds of invitations from the Spirit to take a break from the apps. Each time I am reminded to not put my trust in a carefully worded profile or whatever goofy selfie I’ve taken where I’ve successfully disguised any hint of a double chin. Taking a break from my grippy control of the whole situation, by pausing from the apps, is one way I am choosing to trust God.

The other active part of each app sabbath was to pay attention to God. That’s always sort of a work in progress with me. But I made a twofold commitment to God during these breaks: I will listen; I will trust. That’s it. That’s my part. I promised to listen for God’s voice when I prayed, through Scripture, through friends, as I wrote, and in any other way He might want to speak. I also let God know that I was willing to trust in His goodness. . . .

I don’t know how God will lead you, but I’m confident that God longs to be gracious to you. And taking a beautiful sabbath rest from the work of the apps might free up some space for you to receive God’s graciousness.