Godmothers With Lisa BevereSample

Confront to Connect

There was unresolved conflict in the air, and I had no idea why. Over the years, I’d reached out only to receive one-word responses. She was not going to engage with me. In an attempt to figure it out, I’d asked all the questions I knew to ask. I’d spoken with all the people I knew to speak with. 

If there were to be any resolution, I’d have to take a more direct approach. That day in prayer, I pushed aside all the excuses and I took steps to get in touch with her. We would be ministering together at the same event soon, and things would just be too uncomfortable for both of us if this breach was not addressed and resolved.

It had been three years, and I wasn’t even sure if I had her correct number. I sent a text message and asked for a conversation. She replied she would be able to talk the following day.

When the arranged time of our talk arrived, I dialed her number and held my breath. She answered the phone. I took the lead and explained that I had loved her the moment I had met her. I reminded her of the relational equity that had been built. I went on to say how excited I had been the last time we were part of an event together. 

I had gone to her session to cheer her on, and she had snubbed me by acknowledging each of the speakers from the stage but me . . . twice. After explaining how it all looked to me, I asked, “Have I done something to upset you?”

There was a long pause, a deep breath, and then a wail . . .

I thought, Dear Jesus, what have I done? Through muffled cries, she explained it wasn’t me and she was surprised that I of all people would be the one to call. She shared that she had been repeatedly wounded by her mother and the women she saw as mother figures in her life. She had pulled away from them all, including me. 

I listened . . . carefully. Her raw vulnerability made a way for both of us to have an honest and open conversation. We both acknowledged the hurt, the loss, and the disconnect. We knew there existed a very real gap and spoke of ways we could bridge it. Of ways we could love and live better as mentors and friends.