The Hope QuotientSample

Nothing raises a kid’s confidence and self-esteem like an adult who believes that the God who made them will actually use them. This breaks a negative self-image cycle and replaces it with a more hope-filled cycle of positive self-esteem. 

Here’s how these cycles work:

Self-Image Cycle: “How I think about myself” affects “How I respond to life” affects “How others respond to me” affects “How I think and feel about myself.”

Inferiority Cycle: “Low view of self” produces “feelings of self-doubt” produces “self-hate” produces “negative escape behaviors” produces “more sense of rejection” produces “low view of self.”

I heard a Young Life leader say, “Any kid will do great if you give them two things: a warm welcome and an adult who’s crazy about them.” 

I realized early on that I had a bank account with each of my four kids that had nothing to do with money. It was an emotional bank account. When I spent time with them, laughed together, went out on daddy-daughter date nights, took my boys to restaurants every other week to talk about what they wanted to talk about, it put “money” in their emotional accounts.

When we had to have a tough conversation, when discipline was needed, when the correction was given, when I sometimes blew it, these amount to a withdrawal. The withdrawals need to be balanced with emotional deposits—words and actions of love and affirmation. Parents and their kids end up in trouble and turmoil when we are making more withdrawals than deposits. 

To this day, I ask myself about once a month how emotionally connected I am to each of my family members. Whatever I discover, I try to take action on. This has major benefits, not just for affecting and influencing the direction of their lives. Over time, it provides the relationships, everyone, hopes for. 

Think Up:

Never underestimate the power of a connected adult.

Whatever the age of your kids (or grandchildren) it is never too late to become the number one encourager in their lives. (Read on).