Blend: Strengthen Your FamilySample

Little Eyes

Kim married Kyle, who had two boys from a previous marriage. This made her a wife and a mom for the first time at the same time. Since then, they’ve have added two girls for a total of four kids. 

Remember the first day of school? Little worried eyes stare down giant fears while parents look on confident, full of love, and brave. But is that really how the parent feels? Maybe you’ve been there as a parent. Even if you were feeling like a puddle of emotions, you put on courage to help those worried little eyes see safety and opportunity in the next new step. 

Raising children in a blended family requires similar courage. Your children need your love and courage to help them see the opportunity to overcome fear in each new step.

About five months into marriage, we found ourselves in a court battle that resulted in significant change for the boys’ schedule. Suddenly our young boys would be crossing state lines for visits. Kyle and I had all of our own feelings, but as parents, we needed to take brave steps ahead because our boys would be looking to us to see if everything was okay. 

I realize there are situations where the rest of your child’s family legally cannot and should not be around your child. I’m praying that God will still reveal unique ways to allow your child to feel love toward their family. 

I realized that being brave is more than just not talking negatively about their other family members. 

We realized our boys have two families who love them, and it’s worth our courage to not only give them permission but also to encourage them to love two families back. Because God puts us in families, God is love, and love casts out fear, even from worried little eyes.  

For us this looked like addressing mail for the rest of their family when they were too small to write address lines easily. Courage also looked like asking about their visits (without an agenda), and really listening and showing excitement about whatever they were excited about. 

Our kids are learning from us what love looks like. Here’s what I’ve learned from God’s love for me: There’s always more room for courageous love in a child’s life.  

Watch Blend: Stepparents and Bio Parents Can Work Together, Part 1

Pray and listen: God, it can be so difficult to show love to the rest of my child’s family. Will You give me the courage to take steps that honor You and show my child how to love courageously?