Scary Close-Reflections For Finding True IntimacySample

The Risk of Being

LAST YEAR I READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT AN AUSTRALIAN nurse named Bronnie Ware, who spent the bulk of her career in palliative care, tending patients with twelve or fewer weeks to live. Not surprisingly most of her patients had joys and regrets. Bronnie said in the last few weeks of their lives, however, they were able to find a higher level of clarity about what mattered most.

Remarkably, the most common regret of the dying was this: they wish they’d had the courage to live a life true to themselves and not the life others expected of them.

As I read about Bronnie’s patients I wondered how many opinions I’ve wanted to share but held back for fear of criticism; what love I’ve wanted to express but stayed silent for fear of rejection; or the poems and stories I’ve never released because I didn’t think they were good enough for publication.

It’s true I’ve been hurt a few times after revealing myself. There are people who lie in wait for the vulnerable and pounce as a way to feel powerful. But God forgive them. I’m willing to take the occasional blow to find people I connect with. As long as you’re willing to turn the other cheek with the mean ones, vulnerability can get you a wealth of friends.

Can you imagine coming to the end of your life, being surrounded by people who loved you, only to realize they never fully knew you? Or having poems you never shared or injustices you said nothing about? Can you imagine realizing, then, it was too late?

How can we be loved if we are always in hiding?