When They Hurt Someone You LoveSample

DAY FIVE - DEVELOPING "LIFE LESSON" MUSCLES

Another problem with Mama Bear syndrome is that life is hard. Your child will inevitably be hurt at some point in their life, more than once. If you react immediately with “You poor baby!” and fly off to defend them against anything that hurts them, they don’t learn anything about how to handle people, hurt, or adverse situations.

If we do everything for our kids, they’ll never learn to stand on their own two feet, they’ll never learn how to resolve conflict on their own, and they’ll never learn the power of forgiveness. They’ll depend more on you than they do on God, and that is handicapping them for life.

One of the best examples I’ve ever seen of that is watching a baby chick hatch out of an egg. It takes a long time, and at certain points, you think that little chick just isn’t going to make it. First comes the beak, pecking and pecking to make a hole, and pretty soon a wet little head is poking out of the shell, gasping for breath.

Then after he rests awhile, he starts to move around, grunting and shrugging, the egg rocking all around until — ah-ha! — out comes a wet, matted-down wing. And the poor little chick stops again, panting. Watching this, you want to reach down and break open that shell to help him.

But don’t do it! In the end, after a long struggle, the wet and weary chick manages to get completely free of the eggshell. And within the hour, you wouldn’t even recognize him. He’s fluffy and yellow and eating up a storm!

If you had given into temptation and helped that little chick break out of the shell, he would have died. It was painful to watch his struggle, but he needed every muscle he used to break out of that shell to be strengthened in such a way that ensured his survival in the outside world.

No one likes to see their child struggle, but that’s how they learn -- how they develop the “life lesson” muscles they’ll need to survive and thrive. There are times we step in to help them, but be careful. Don’t do everything for them. Instead, train them in childhood how to handle hurtful situations by teaching them the power of forgiveness.