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Getting Stuck

Nobody wakes up one day and says, “I want my life to be so consumed by addiction, fear, control, or anger that I nearly lose everything.” No, for me it took hundreds of small steps and purposeless decisions that left me stuck.

One night, a college friend offered prescription medicine to help me focus while we studied. I tried it—and continued to try it. 

My addiction went to another level when I began using it to numb my emotions. I went through a string of blows, and I used more and more. I lied to the woman who is now my wife and nearly lost our relationship. I skipped class because of my addiction and failed three semesters in a row. 

My addiction should have cost me everything I now love and hold dear, but it didn’t. I reached for God and found that despite all my failures, He would still choose me. I stopped trying to fix everything myself and accepted His incredible grace.  

Yet, I still struggled. 

The Apostle Paul summed up my battle perfectly: I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. Romans 7:15 NLT

As I consistently took one step at a time toward following Jesus, it became clearer and clearer that He had more freedom for me. I started to talk about my struggle with some friends. My wife and I locked away all the prescription meds in our home, and she kept the code to the safe. Courage grew with each step, and I began to speak openly about my struggles and all the ways God was working on me. With each spiritual and practical step, the addiction lost its grip on me.

Accept His grace. Invite people into your story. Create real boundaries between you and temptation. And above all else, get your strength from God and His words about you.

Clay, grace accepter

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Pray: God show me any places where I’m stuck. Help me to take the first steps to get unstuck. Who else can I talk to about this?