Should I Say Something?

Jen loved her job as office manager of a small manufacturing plant. Most of her staff were professional and hardworking, but she often found Gary, the network administrator, using social media during work hours. Although Jen knew she should address this, she was timid by nature, and Gary was a longtime friend of her family. “Should I say something? How should I say it?” This daily dilemma stressed her out. What would you do in her place?

We all face these kinds of situations in our families, workplaces, and churches. Solomon provides us with two questions to help us.

Can I Cover This? (17:9)

“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” (17:9). Cover here does not mean “cover up,” which is a sinful hiding of sin that shows no love for anyone. In the context, “cover an offense” means to keep it as private as possible, while still dealing with the offense.

We know this is the meaning because the opposite is set in direct contrast: the reporting of an offense to others without trying to address the individual about it first. That only makes things worse, because it turns people against the offender and then turns the offender against everyone when he finds out about the gossip.

For someone in Jen’s position, this proverb calls for direct, personal, private conversation about offenses because that kind of approach is a manifestation, maintainer, and multiplier of love.

Covering as much as possible is loving as much as possible.

But will a private conversation work?

Can I Change This? (17:10)

“A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool” (17:10). Before Jen takes the next step, Solomon calls her to assess Gary’s character. What kind of man is he? Is he a man of understanding or a fool?

If he’s a foolish man, then Jen could speak to him a hundred times and it wouldn’t make much, if any, difference. Her words would bounce off him like a rubber ball thrown against a wall.

If he’s a man who understands himself, others, and God, then one conversation about his time-wasting will go deeper than a space probe. It will challenge him and change him.

When Jen spoke to Gary in her office about his misconduct, Gary was immediately repentant. After apologizing to her and his colleagues for his time-wasting, he went to his car and confessed his sin to God. The next day he told Jen that he had set up accountability software on his computer that would prevent him from accessing anything but work material during working hours.

A wise heart is a jelly heart. A foolish heart is a rubber heart.

Changing Our Story with God’s Story

Let’s ask God to uncover our sins to ourselves before they are uncovered to others. And when he challenges us, let’s change by his grace rather than retaliate like a fool.

As we look at Christ’s life in the Gospels, we see these proverbs perfectly illustrated in his wise personal dealings with sinners. He knew how to address sin with maximum love and maximum effect (John 21:15–19). He also knew when to stay silent before fools such as Herod and Pilate. He put perfect flesh on these perfect proverbs.

Let’s ask for the Spirit of Christ, the Spirit of these proverbs so that we can embody them in our families, communities, workplaces, and churches.

Summary: “Should I say something, and how should I say it?” Speak about sin privately to those who will respond penitently.

Question: What sin is God rebuking in your life, and what sin are you to rebuke in others’ lives?

Prayer: Loving Rebuker, thank you for addressing my sin so wisely. Help me to respond with repentance and faith.