God of JusticeUddrag

Trust in the waiting

‘It’s not fair, you’re a mean mummy.' I can’t actually count the number of times these words have been flung at me in aggression from my twin boys. Whether it’s that I have said no to yet another toy, an ice cream at 8 am, or bringing the puppy along to swimming lessons, in those moments their belief, their reality even, is that I am a terrible mother, unmoved by their affliction and utterly unjust in my parenting.

But what they don’t see is how moved I actually am. How it pains me to see them so uncomfortable and how much I long for them to feel content and fulfilled. What they don’t see is the emotional effort it takes me to say ‘no’ as I reason from a space they can’t comprehend. I want the best for them, for them to grow into men of God who can find happiness and fulfilment outside of sugar and material things, and within healthy boundaries.

I rarely have patience for their immature response to my boundaries. However, as I reflect on this verse, I come to see how similar my response is to my heavenly Father’s when He blocks my desires. I struggle to see Him as just and loving. I wrestle to hold in tension the pain I see and experience with an all-powerful God who sees me, and is moved by my pain, yet won’t intervene in the ways I want Him to.

But as I consider my boys and how their view of me will change as they wait and see the fruit of my boundaries, I am comforted by this verse. Blessed are all those who wait for Him. Waiting requires trust. Trust that He is who He says He is – a God of justice.

Written by BEK ROBINSON