Laughter and Lament: The Radical Freedom of Joy and SorrowUddrag

The Curse of Loneliness

The biblical book of Lamentations is the mother of lament. It opens with these words, “How lonely sits the city that was full of people!” The psalms of lament are not written for personal devotions (although they are personal); but for corporate singing, sometimes even giving instructions to the worship leader on how they should be sung. A song of lament is hardly ever a solo. There are two very sad (and human) episodes in the life of Christ that come to mind. The first was when Jesus expresses concern that his disciples would leave him, and on that occasion they told him not to worry because they didn’t have another place to go (John 6:67–68). The second was just before the cross when Jesus said that his “soul was very sorrowful” and asked his disciples to stay awake while he wept. They fell asleep, and Jesus said, “Could you not watch with me one hour?” (Matthew 26:38, 40). Paul knew loneliness and often expressed his affection for the church people he loved and missed. He wrote to the Philippians, “For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:8).

We were not created to be alone. As Christians, we need one another. There are a lot of reasons God ordained the church; but at the heart of it is the truth that God created our loneliness and then ordained the church as the remedy. The church was created to be a place of laughter and lament. When we stifle the laughter or hide the tears, we truncate one of the main reasons for our existence.

Jesus is the president of the fellowship of sufferers (Hebrews 4:15). When you go to him, expect to encounter understanding, compassion, and love . . . but that’s not enough, and God made it not enough. Sometimes we need Jesus “with skin on.” Jesus said that we would do greater works than he himself had done (John 14:12). And one of those works is to walk in the darkness with our brothers and sisters.

A part of the sanctification process (and it should be a part of discipleship in the church) is preparation for a mature connection with one another. I believe that our own personal losses and pain are designed, at least partially, for that very purpose. It is making us “holy” enough to listen, love, accept, and laugh with brothers and sisters in Christ who, if it weren’t for us, would experience that alone. Loneliness really is a curse.