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How to Navigate Real Church Life With Honesty and Humor

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Stop Hiding in Your Husband’s Shadow

Many of you reading this devotional are pastors’ wives. Your husband is likely called to pastor, whether through leading a church from behind the pulpit, on the strings of a guitar, or beside an animated teen performing the iconic Church Clap. Hashtag: if you know, you know. And all of this is fantastic. But he isn’t the only one with a calling in his life. You have one, too.

Two of us pastors’ wives penning these devotionals for you felt the call to ministry at a young age. One heard the Lord speak to her heart about being involved in missions by serving people in other countries. Today, she runs a nonprofit out of Rwanda, Africa, where she and a Rwandan-born pastor work together to empower the Rwandan people with Bible knowledge, education, farming skills, artisan work, and medical assistance. Her husband supports her in this calling but doesn’t run the nonprofit with her. This calling is specific to her, and she is passionate about it.

The other one of us who felt God call her to ministry at a young age interpreted her calling with a narrow view. As a senior in high school, she desired to follow Jesus into church ministry, but she assumed this would only come to fruition by being married to a pastor. She was passionate about teenagers and eventually grew a love for women’s ministry but never dreamed God could use her for His kingdom outside her husband. But God’s plans were so much bigger than she fathomed. Now, she supports her husband by serving in youth ministry with him while also traveling to teach and encourage women ministry leaders without him. She writes and speaks and recently realized that God didn’t call her to marry a youth pastor. He called her to minister, too.

No matter what God calls our spouses to, He desires us to see our value and walk confidently in our callings. We are a part of the body of Christ, and as such, God has given us spiritual gifts to use for His kingdom. I Corinthians 12 reveals that every person (not every man) has a spiritual gift. The Church is incomplete without us utilizing the passions, giftings, and callings God specifically gave us when we entered a relationship with Him. He has a unique plan for you, just as He has a specific plan for your spouse.

If you are still determining your spiritual gifts and callings, answer the following questions about yourself as you take inventory of your life. God doesn’t hide His will for our lives from us. He reveals each step we take as we seek Him. Slowly, our desires shift to His desires as we delight ourselves in Him (Psalm 37:4). As you grow close to God, ask yourself these questions:

1. What am I passionate about?

2. What are my talents?

3. What pushes me outside of my comfort zone into something I thought I couldn’t do but ended up enjoying once I did it?

Usually, if you are walking closely with the Lord, signs within the answers to these questions point you in the right direction. God created your personality and talents for a specific purpose. Even what you consider a mundane gift can be used in extraordinary ways. God doesn’t need a flashy spiritual gift to move mountains for His kingdom. He wants your willingness and obedience. How can you use what is already in your hands for Him?

Want more content like this? Connect with Pastors’ Wives Tell All: PastorsWivesTellAll.com You can also learn more about the book Pastors' Wives Tell All: Navigating Church Life with Honesty and Humor by Stephanie Gilbert, Jessica Taylor, and Jenna Allen.

The Main Bible translation used in this devotion plan is the CSB.

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How to Navigate Real Church Life With Honesty and Humor

Whether you are a church leader drowning beneath unrealistic expectations, treading the deep church waters effortlessly, or floating somewhere in between, you’re in the right place. Once you’ve completed this 7-day plan, you will have the tools to walk confidently in your calling, face your church hurt, find the freedom to be your most authentic self, and ultimately feel less alone.

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