Help! I'm Not Good at Forgivenessنموونە

The Amish called it “The Happening.”

In October 2006, on a typical morning in a one-room schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, a community was torn apart when a man walked in and opened fire. That day, five young girls lost their lives.

America's attention was drawn to that corner of Pennsylvania, and millions watched in awe and wonder as the Amish responded. They did not react with revenge; instead, they chose to forgive the killer.

A movie entitled Amish Grace told the story of these families and this moment. One of the film’s scenes haunted me as two parents argued about their different responses to the loss of their daughter. The father chose to forgive and went to visit the family of the killer. The wife refused to forgive, angry at her husband’s actions. In the scene, she said,

“God has shattered my heart. And I will not betray my daughter by forgiving the man who killed her. I will not do it, Gideon. I cannot.”

In my experience, when the topic of forgiveness comes up, the names, faces, and experiences resemble the messy aftermath of that tragedy in Lancaster County. In the face of such pain, simple, easy, or neat answers about forgiveness prove unhelpful.

This plan is designed for people who are not good at forgiving when they’ve been hurt or wounded. It is not focused on the person who hurt or wounded you. We don’t control what they do—that’s between them and God.

But we do get to choose our response to what happened to us. Jesus died on the cross and paid a terrible price that we might be free. If we remain stuck in bitterness and unforgiveness, we will never taste that freedom for which He gave His life. We will remain stuck in a toxic place of poison and pain.

We can all improve our forgiveness. We cannot forgive in our own power and strength. However, when we experience Jesus' forgiveness, we gain the strength we need. Our ability to forgive is directly related to the forgiveness we've received.

Over the rest of this plan, we will explore this big idea—forgiven people can forgive. I’m not saying forgiven people forgive easily, nor that they can forgive simply and quickly. Instead, I will show you how it is possible that God forgives us and enables us to forgive others.

On the next day of this plan, we’ll examine a passage that shows what it looks like when someone embraces the idea that forgiven people can forgive and the four attitudes that help us forgive in the power God gives.