Training the Willنموونە

Necessary “No’s”

If you want to grow in self-discipline, be a man who practices saying "no.”

An hour before I wrote this, I was helping my kids get ready for school. My youngest was lagging and wanted to make a game of her delay. We were running late because I’d been texting a friend instead of being fully present with my kids. I got visibly frustrated and dropped her hairbrush with some force. We eventually got everything done and made it to school just in time.

Saying "no" to my phone is a key discipline for me.

I leave my phone in another room during certain hours to be present with my family. I can't love my kids as well or be present with my phone in my hands or pocket. As Paul wrote, “The acts of the flesh are obvious…” The negative impact of having my phone with me all the time is pretty obvious to me and those around me.

I've been practicing this "no" for a few years. I often succeed, but today, I didn’t.

God also wants me to say "no" to hurry. Hurry is more about your inner world than your speed of action. When we began to run late, my insides were afflicted with hurry. As my youngest tried to play the game of “I can’t brush my hair!” I let my feelings of frustration boil over; I dropped a hairbrush a little too hard in frustration.

If you were in my head, you’d have seen a struggle. I felt hurry arise in me. I didn't throw the hairbrush or say anything angry to my kid. I said "no" to those childish feelings. However, I didn’t say "no" to the tiny tantrum of dropping that hairbrush a little extra hard.

Consider your daily life and ask God what “no’s” He's asking you to say in order to say “yes” to Him.

If you look and listen to Him, there will be obvious steps. Clarify what they are (e.g., no phone at certain times of the day). Beef up your conviction that the sacrifice is worth it (e.g., I’m an obviously better father without my phone during those key hours). Start practicing.

If you want to be a man growing in self-discipline, practice saying “no.”

Prayer: Show me the “no’s” that I need to say, Lord. Convict me of their worth and empower me to follow through. Bless other men who are learning to do the same. Amen.

Reflection: Take a few minutes to think about which “no’s” God is asking you to say and any steps He wants you to take in the following areas:

1) Knowing Him better

2) Loving others well (family, co-workers, church, etc.)

3) Living wisely in the areas of health, finances, and sexuality

4) Character development