The Guarded Heart vs Guarding Our Heartsنموونە

THE BICKERING PARTS OF OUR HEART

My sons are aged 10 & 11, and I consider them professional bickerers. They bicker over who will be sitting in the front, who controls the remote, who is the best, who is the fastest, and who is the greatest. They kind of remind me of the disciples who also bickered over who was the greatest, not once but three different times. I can just imagine Jesus placing his hand on his forehead whilst shaking his head in disbelief over the immaturity of the bickering.

I use the word immaturity because bickering is evidence of immaturity and insecurity regarding our value. Bickering is evidence of one trying to compete with others for our value. Bickering is evidence of the power struggle one engages in to compete with others for value. Bickering is evidence that others are seen as a threat to our value. Bickering, therefore, becomes how we guard our fears around inadequacy. Sadly, it doesn't heal it but exacerbates it, as it will tend to hook another person's insecurity. We see this in Matthew 20:20-24, where the mother of James and John asks Jesus if her sons could sit next to him in his Kingdom. Verse 24 tells us that when the other disciples heard this, it made them resentful and angry.

Some of us may not bicker out loud with others, but we are bickering in our minds through ruminating conversations. In the long term, either way, it will lead to relational mistrust, disconnect and potentially bitterness as we see others as a threat.

So, how do we guard our hearts from the fruits of bickering taking root?

First, we need to disconnect our value from performance and competitiveness. We are all parts of the same body, and we belong together. This mental shift needs to happen so that we don't see others as a threat to compete with.

The second takes this first step even deeper by adopting a servant-hearted posture. Serving others is what leads to maturity. Jesus responded to the disciples' bickering in Luke 9:48 (The Message Version) by reminding them, "You become great by accepting, not asserting. Your spirit, not your size, makes the difference." Bickering decreases as serving increases. So don't get hooked by bickering; ask God for his wisdom in response.

Reflective Questions:

• In what spaces do I find myself bickering either out loud or in my mind?
• What need in me drives the bickering?
• Why do I find it hard to let the competitiveness go?

Prayer:

Lord, forgive me for trying to find my value in success. I surrender my self-worth to your truth. Help me live in peace and serve others instead of seeking to compete with them. Thank you that you believe in me, that is enough. Amen.