Marriage as God Intendedنموونە

Imitating Christ

In today’s reading in Genesis, God performs on Adam the first surgery in history. He anaesthetizes Adam by putting him into a deep sleep, opens up his chest, removes a rib, and makes a woman. Adam doesn’t even play a conscious role in the process; God provides a suitable, fitting, corresponding partner for him. When Adam wakes up from this coma-like simulation of death, he responds with a poem: he is thrilled to meet his bride, bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh!

The way in which Eve is created is significant. Adam loses a precious part of himself and from that loss comes a bride. His loss leads to a beautiful gift that brings him tremendous blessing. These events in the Garden of Eden mirror how Jesus received His bride, the Church. Just as God cut open Adam’s side to remove his rib, Jesus’ side was cut open when He hung on the cross. Except, Jesus didn’t just lose a rib. He lost His life to gain us.

Both Adam and Jesus display the self-sacrifice inherent in a marriage relationship. This is a challenge for men in particular, those who are married or desire to be married. Don’t expect to receive the wonderful gift of marriage at no personal cost. There will be precious parts of yourself you’ll need to sacrifice to gain an intimate, permanent, unified marriage. And self-sacrifice isn’t a one-off event when you first get married; it needs to be a constant in any happy marriage. As husbands, as leaders, we should be quick to lay down our lives for our wives.

In many parts of Africa, men are told they’re the leaders of their homes. The Bible is clear that a husband is the head of his family, but that does not mean a man should sit back and expect to be served day and night. To be the head means you are the first to take the lead in difficult moments – financially, socially, emotionally, relationally, or in terms of the family schedule.

Also, today’s passage makes it clear that the man leaves his mother and father in order to be inseparably joined with his wife, and not the other way around. If this isn’t the general expectation in your culture or community, you may need to set some boundaries with your extended family, and even be prepared to have some difficult conversations.

Marriage is a union that binds a man and woman in life-long devotion to each other as they imitate the pattern of the ultimate man – Jesus Christ – who laid down His life for His bride and unites us to Himself forever. He will never leave us nor forsake us. We too – and especially married men – should have this model as our chief goal in order to be a rich blessing to the beautiful gift that God has given us in a bride.