Showing Love through Discipline

“Don’t be too hard on them . . .”

One of the hardest parts of parenting is disciplining a child. Even the best parents have heard the howl, “You don’t love me!” after giving out a punishment. Even between parents, disagreements on how to reprimand will arise. Add in the variables of the child’s personality and endless possible surrounding circumstances, and it becomes difficult to decide on the correct discipline. There is no one-size-fits-all, no perfect parenting book, no exact science.

“So, what would Jesus have us do? He always loves and forgives!”

We are tempted, then, to think it all boils down to being endlessly patient, always forgiving, and constantly giving to our children. But that’s not the full story of Jesus. His love for people was perfect, which doesn’t necessarily mean it was always feel-good. Because he loved people, he called them out on their sins. He pushed them to be better—sometimes gently, but often firmly. He loved them enough to want them to be their very best, which required rules, rebuke, and, yes, punishment. But he always did it in hopes of restoring the relationship, of bringing people back to the Father.

…The Lord corrects the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own.

Hebrews 12:6 (CEV)

It is loving to give our kids boundaries and to hold them to those boundaries. A spouse’s viewpoint, whether more harsh or lenient, helps us come to a balanced decision on how to discipline. God designed this relationship to show us our blind spots. It is loving to punish children in the right way, and the Lord will give wisdom to us when we pray.

Sometimes boundaries don’t feel loving, especially to children. Try to help your children understand. Point out how the Bible lays out boundaries that are good and healthy for us to follow, because God always knows best and sees the big picture, even when we cannot. And always reprimand with the goal of restoring the relationship—between you and your child, between your child and their Heavenly Father.

PRAY

God, there’s a lot of parts of loving my children that are hard to navigate. Thank you for restoring our relationship. Help me to follow your example in showing them a more perfect love. Amen.

TIME TO TALK

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): Do you understand why we have rules and punishment? Do you feel any are unfair? Why?

Apply: Take time to listen to your child share his or her feelings. Perhaps share an example of when you thought a rule was unfair. Then relate it back to how the Bible guides us by giving us clear boundaries.

KEEP IT GOING

Related passages: These additional verses will help parents expand Scriptural knowledge and place on the armor of God’s Word to tackle each day. Swipe to read the passages today.

Proverbs 3:11-12

Ephesians 6:4