Culture Maker — the Devotional for Dad'sنموونە

The Man That We're Making

It's so easy to feel like a failure, as a father.

We get things wrong so often. We struggle with stuff our partners don't fully understand. And our minds can be easily distracted, by images and thoughts, that fight against the life we're trying to make at home.

Yesterday we looked at the shame we cause our children — but it's often our lives, that are full of shame.

Shame has to be seen to be soothed. It's like that for our kids — we soothe their shame, when we say sorry and seek to be someone they can talk to. But us men need someone to talk to as well. Finding a friend or a group we can be real with, is a key part of working through the stuff we struggle with.

Our addictions affect who we are, and who we're becoming — they have an indirect effect, on the feel of our family culture.

Fortunately, we can renew our minds. Not only does scripture command it — but science confirms we can do it. Brain elasticity means that we can focus on the thought patterns we want to change — and change.

There are good books available from the likes of Dr. Caroline Leaf, Craig Groechel, and Michael & Megan Hyatt. There's also likely to be a helpful group in your local church. But it's hard to beat, finding a good mate — who also wants to create a healthy culture in their home.

I'm not sure if anybody has ever read the verses in Matthew 5 and later cut off their right hand, or plucked out their eye — but have we tried all the other options available to us?

Romans 12:2 is a gift, because it informs us we can change, it lets us know that we can feel less shame and live more in line with His will.

Sometimes we may feel like a victim — but the bible makes it clear — we're in control of the man that we're making.

We are not a failure — we are His men, commissioned to create His culture — inside our homes. So let's get to it.