Are You a Mary or Martha?نموونە

Have you ever wondered if you are more like Mary or Martha? Have you ever wondered if God loves one of these women more than the other?

Let’s start by looking at the characteristics of each of these sisters:

Marthas tend to be logical, rushed, organized, impatient, detailed, straightforward, and goal-oriented.

Marys tend to be emotional, carefree, creative, thoughtful, sensitive, vulnerable, and relationship-oriented.

I first discovered that I was a Martha when I went on a mission trip to a very impoverished area. Our goal was to paint a church, and I was determined to get that church painted even though it seemed like no one else was. I worked on it the entire time and kept getting more and more frustrated that none of the other volunteers were helping. They were just standing around talking or playing with the children. I went up to the leader and told him that if the others did not pitch in, our goal was not going to be accomplished. He looked me square in the eyes and said, “Anyone can paint a church. Our real mission is to encourage these people and show them the love of Christ.” It opened my eyes to the reality of what Christians are called to do, but at the same time, it made me feel like what I was doing was wrong.

That situation made me feel like Martha was not good enough; she was not as perfect as Mary. Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet, and Martha would like to be sitting there too but someone has to feed Jesus! I feel like Jesus should have told Mary to get up and help Martha so that once the work was done, they could both sit at His feet. Don’t you think Mary was being a little selfish?

God made two different types of women, and they are opposites. When we meet someone who is the opposite of ourselves, there are often two reactions we have towards them: judgment and jealousy.

As a “Martha,” I confess that I have looked at women who consider themselves more like Mary, and thought to myself, “Oh my goodness…is she really crying again?” Or, “Do we really need to hug every single time we see each other?” That's judgment.

And I know there are Marys who look at me and think, “Is she really just going to stand there during worship and not weep?” Or, “She’s so busy working, she didn’t even stop to hug me.”

The truth of the matter is that Mary and Martha often respond differently.

On the other hand, I think we often respond to women who are different from us with jealousy. There is a part of me that deeply and truly wishes I could be more like Mary. I wish that I could just sit at Jesus’ feet without any distractions. I wish I could lie at the altar and weep because I am so overwhelmed by the immense love of Jesus Christ. I wish I know how to respond to people in an emotionally deep way so that when I look at someone who‘s hurting, I am able to comfort them. But instead, I just stand there feeling inadequate because I don’t know how to react to a woman who is different from me.

I know there are Marys out there who feel the same way about me. I have had women ask how I can get up on stage and talk without crying or falling apart. I have had them say they wished they could quickly and confidently come up with a logical answer to a question. I have had Marys say they wish they could be more like Martha.

Think about how you respond to different situations. Are you more like Mary with deep empathy, emotion, and sensitivity to others? Or are you more like Martha with a logical approach to life and a drive to do for God in an organized manner?

Take time today to thank God for how He made you, and pray for wisdom to understand the other types of women God made.