Lent Journeyنموونە

DAY 2
Afraid of death

21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
Phil 1:21 – 24

When I think of Jesus, and the path He had to take – the anxiety, the loneliness and the pain that went along with it – I wish that my ‘following Him’ will not ask the same of me, especially because death was part of this path.

I realise that I cannot avoid death, and that no one can die in my place. Woody Allen captures a sense of my discomfort with these words: I’m not scared of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens to me. We are all in the same boat – a boat where each one of us is on our own. And that is difficult.

The people closest to Jesus who followed Him daily, were also in that boat. Still, when they speak about death, their words are ones of encouragement and cause a light of hope to flicker inside me. Like John, I can believe that I will live even after I have died (John 11:25). Paul’s words, that he is ready to die and a much better life awaits him, gives me something to look forward to. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain (Phil 1:21).

This is the author of the letter to the Hebrews that invites me to talk to God about my fear of death, and to ask Him to free me from it. This is a path I will have to take, along with all these mixed feelings, and how I handle it personally. To try and avoid my own death, or to become anxious when someone close to me dies, does not make me any less of a believer. I want to be honest regarding my feelings about death and how it touches my life.

I shudder.

But even Jesus asked that the cup of suffering passes him by. Today I follow Him. And He understands my emotions and knows what I am going through.

EXERCISE
• In your time of prayer, share your feelings regarding your own death with the Lord.
• It might help you to write this down.
• Afterward, thank Him that death will never separate you from Him.