The Clutching Block

Going back to my country of origin was a strong desire even though I knew that the Lord had orchestrated my relocation to another country. The move was supposed to be temporary, but months turned into years. Often, my focus was on the unresolved business at home that I found challenging to take care of from so far away and the fact that I hadn't gotten to say goodbyes. Time and again, I cried to God, “Why, Lord, did You bring me to this place? Take me home to palm trees, sea breeze, and where I don’t have to wear a coat.”

Being aware that I was in His confirmed will for me didn’t keep me from complaining to Him about my homesickness and desire to return home. But then, one day, when I was going about my business, He gave me an answer that quieted my anguish. He said, "You belong here." So I stopped fighting, unclutched my heart and hands, and let His peace in. Whatever His will was for me, that is where I wanted to be, and I would choose to walk in it joyfully.

Have you ever had a deep longing in your soul for something specific? Sometimes we want good things, and we pray long and hard for them. Then one day, we realize they are never going to be ours. What do we do then?

King David knew what this was like. His first child with Bathsheba was very sick, so he fasted and prayed for the child for seven days. However, when he learned the child had died, he got up, cleaned himself, and changed his clothes. His next stops were the house of the Lord to worship and then home to eat.

"Then his servants said to him, 'What is this thing that you have done? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.' He said, 'While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, "who knows, the Lord may be gracious to me, that the child may live." But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.'” (2 Samuel Ch 12:21-23)

The longer we clutch onto our hopes for what we think is an excellent thing, the more it feels like second nature. However, with the discernment of the Holy Spirit, we will know when it is time to let it go. Doing this will often include desperate prayers, sometimes fasting, and lots of tears.

It will be for us as it was for King David, a very turbulent time. In his frantic state, he wrote what we now know as Psalm 51. His cries in this Psalm can be ours when we have to give up a good dream, hope, or desire: “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit” (v. 12).

Prayer:

Lord, in Your wisdom, You know what is best for me. Sometimes I want to hold on to things that You have told me to let go of. My vision is limited, but Yours isn't. Please show me today if there is anything I need to let go of that is not in my best interest. Would You speak into my heart so that I will hear You? And may I walk in joy as I trust that You are working behind the scenes of my life, desiring to work all things out for good for me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.