BibleProject | Rethinking Love and Romanceنموونە

Another story that helps us understand true love comes from the book of Ruth. Some see this book as the Hebrew Bible’s famous love story. Girl gleans in a field. Boy sees girl gleaning. Girl uncovers boy’s feet (we’ll have to unpack that one later). Boy marries girl. A baby is born. The end. It’s like a Hallmark movie, right? But what if it’s not like a modern love story at all?

The story begins with an Israelite family in the land of Moab. Naomi and Elimelech have two sons who are married to Moabite women, one named Ruth and the other Orpah. Tragically, Naomi’s husband and two sons die. All Ruth and Orpah have left is their widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, who has nothing to give them. Naomi says she will return to her hometown, Bethlehem, and that Ruth and Orpah should stay in Moab with their own people (Ruth 1:11-13). Naomi has nothing more to give Ruth or Orpah that might “complete them” or satisfy them, and she warns against staying with her because doing so will surely bring more suffering.

Orpah agrees with Naomi’s logic, but Ruth expresses true love toward Naomi through a profound commitment, saying, “Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God” (Ruth 1:16). Ruth promises to stay by Naomi’s side and take care of her. As the story unfolds and other people see Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi, they call her actions “loyal love,” or in Hebrew, “khesed” (Ruth 3:10-11). Khesed is marked by deep feelings of affection shown through acts of generosity and forgiveness and a commitment to the other’s well-being. It is an outward expression of real love.

Ruth’s khesed is not conditional or based on what Naomi can do for her. Her khesed is a gift—an outpouring of her loving character.

Later in the story, Boaz can’t help but notice Ruth’s loyal love (Ruth 3:11). He blesses her, and she reciprocates with loving generosity, leading to his desire to marry her. The authors parallel his loving commitment to Ruth’s—Boaz embraces the way of loyal love toward their family.

What kind of love is this? Could love between a mother and daughter-in-law teach us what it means to love someone romantically? The Bible gives us a beautiful picture of true love even though it doesn’t fit into modern ideas about romantic love. Wouldn't the best, most intense and fulfilling romantic relationship a person could experience be one where each person in the relationship acts in ways that preserve, protect, and cause flourishing for the other? To give and not take? To consider the other’s needs above their own? To humbly sacrifice for the mutual blessing, shalom (Hebrew for “peace” or “wholeness”), and tov of the other?

In today’s video, explore the story of Ruth, a tale of love, loss, faithfulness, and redemption.