Overcoming Lies About Godنموونە

Father Wounds

Over the years, I’ve grown in my understanding about who God is and how much He loves me. But in the past, I struggled much more. I thought God was angry, distant, and obsessed with rules. Intellectually, of course, I knew God loved me, but on a deep emotional level, I believed lies that affected the way I viewed myself, lived my life, and treated other people.

Like me, maybe you’ve had negative core beliefs or perceptions about God. You know that God is loving, forgiving, and always there for you. But deep down, you feel that God is often or always angry, walking around with a wooden paddle just waiting for you to mess up. Maybe you think that God hates fun, that He is this cosmic killjoy whose rules are pointless and impossible to follow. Or maybe you think He created the world and then stepped away; He is disengaged and unconcerned with your pain and suffering.

Often, these views about God come from assumptions we make based on our hurts, the suffering we see in the world, or negative experiences with those in authority. Maybe your family or community emphasized rules over relationships. When you didn’t perform as expected or meet others’ standards, you were judged, shamed, or punished. Perhaps your father was distant, disengaged, quick to get angry, or just didn’t speak many words of love or approval. When a parent, particularly a father, has been absent, hurtful, or disengaged, our longings go unmet, and we develop something called a father wound.

Throughout Scripture, God is referred to as our Father. Our view of God is often filtered through the lens of our earthly father. I once heard author William Paul Young say, “It took me all of 50 years to wipe the face of my father completely off the face of God.” For better or worse, our primary and foundational relationships chart the course for the way we navigate other relationships, including our relationship with God. The reality is that we all have “daddy issues.” We all struggle to see and experience God for who He actually is. And incorrect views about God are toxic to our well-being; they prevent us from thriving and experiencing a life of wholeness.

How has my view of my earthly father affected my relationship with You, God? Give me clarity and insight to assess this.