Tightropes And Teeter-Tottersنموونە

Friends Don’t Let Friends Talk Trash

One area we have got to get a hold of when it comes to the mouth is (cue dreaded music) gossip.

There is something inside of us (it’s called sin) that makes us want to like ourselves above other people. We find their flaws, either real or imagined, and we make sure the rest of the world can see them. We cut them up and serve them on a platter to anyone who will stop long enough to listen.

If you find yourself tempted to gossip, you have to treat it like any other sin. You must ask God’s forgiveness and repent. Then keep asking and giving it to Him over and over again. One thing I know for sure is that He wants to help you stop gossiping. He makes it abundantly clear that it is wrong, and He wouldn’t do that if there was no solution.

Gossips tend to be, naturally, drawn to other gossips. If your friends are willing to listen to this kind of talk, then you can be sure that they are willing to talk the same about you behind your back. If this is a struggle for you, it’s time to seek out people who won’t listen to your gossip. Find someone you admire and spend more time with her, even if it’s only serving beside her in the church kitchen or saving her a seat at your kids’ basketball game.

Remember that sometimes it is necessary to mention another person in conversation. It’s not necessarily gossip to say her name. But ask yourself these three things before you do:
1) Am I revealing a secret or sharing something she wouldn’t want shared?
2) Am I a part of the problem? Or an I be part of the solution; if not, don’t discuss it.
3) Can I keep the focus on how to work on my own issues and not on hers? If I can’t keep the focus on myself, I need to stop talking about it.

And those friends that you gossip with now, be prepared to lose them when you quit gossiping. Once you stop paying the game of tearing other people down, they won’t want to hang out with you anymore. You will likely become their next target. Forgive them now.

I have carefully chosen my dearest friends to be people who would not let me gossip if I wanted to. Occasionally when we need to talk about a problem we are having with another person, we will say, “I only want to tell you my problem. Please stop me if it turns to gossip, because I don’t want to do that.” And I have definitely been stopped. It is so, so easy to lose sight of being careful when you’re just chatting with a close friend!

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