Unbound: Freedom in a Digital Worldنموونە

We have talked about how we are passively being formed through our community and our roles in life. In both of these areas, we can control to some extent the way that we are being passively formed by intentionally engaging with God’s church and serving in our role in the Lord. There is another important intersection between intentional and passive identity formation. This is the place of habit.

Studies have shown that roughly 40% of our daily activities are out of habit. This includes everything from brushing our teeth to checking Facebook. There are many great books and studies on habit formation available, but for today’s thoughts I want to think about habit as the intersection between intentional formation and passive formation.

Our habits passively form us. This is undeniable. Without intentionally thinking about it, we watch certain channels, read certain headlines, or scroll through certain apps. We perform these and a hundred other habits on a given day. Each craft reflects who we are and who we are becoming. Yet, every habit that we have has been established at some point. Most often, they are established by the intentional repetition of a behavior.

At this point, it is simply a habit to grab our phones at the first feeling of boredom. Yet, at some point, we began to correlate satiating boredom with our digital technology. At some point, we intentionally said, "Instead of being bored, I’m going to check Twitter." Starting the daily Wordle is just what you do over a cup of coffee now, but at some point near the end of 2021, someone shared a link with you to a fun new game. Now it is a habit.

Unfortunately, habits are incredibly difficult to break. Cognitive Science has shown that habits cannot be broken at all. They can only be changed or redirected. I can’t stop drinking a soda every night before bed, but I can redirect this habit towards drinking sparkling water or something else.

This is where our intentional identity formation is so important. If we use intentionality in redirecting our habits, then those intentionally redirected habits will cultivate long-term healthy habits that passively form us into Christlikeness. The best part is that the Spirit is already doing this work for us, we are just jumping in with him more intentionally.

Intentional Identity Formation -> Habits -> Passive Identity Formation

Paul points to this in today’s reading. He talks about three areas of habits: prayer, kindness towards outsiders, and our way of talking. We might not think of each of these as habits, but they are. Turning innately towards prayer or praying daily is a habit. Most of us would recognize that. So is the way we treat others especially those we don’t know well. A first reaction smile or frown is more likely habitual than intentional. Likewise, the way we speak is so habitual. Our words, phrases, and tones often have very little intentionality in day to day life. This is why Godly parents teach their children habits of being kind towards people you don’t know and watching their language.

For today though, let’s focus on what Paul calls “being devoted to prayer, keeping alert in it with thanksgiving” (v. 2). During lent, I decided to take a break from Instagram so I deleted the app (but not my account). Amazingly, for at least a week after deleting the app I would pull my phone out of my pocket when I was bored and click on the blank space where the app used to be! It was a habit. It’s hard to understand all the ways that habit was forming me but that break exposed a lot for me.

Practice Godly habit formation today by deleting your favorite social media app from your phone (gulp…). You don’t have to delete your account or anything. Every time over the next few days that you habitually tap that spot or look for it, instead offer a prayer of gratitude towards God. Redirect that habit towards a habit of prayer. Maybe in our boredom we can eventually get to where we seek God’s presence first out of habit. How amazing would that be!