The Marriage Toolkitنموونە

Exploring Compromise

Did you know there are at least seven different ways to get to the Grand Canyon from Alabama? I didn’t know this until we decided to go there for my husband's 30th birthday. He sat down and mapped out all the possible ways we could go.

Each route would get us to the same destination. Some were longer and more scenic. Some were quicker and easier, but at the end of the day we would end up at the Grand Canyon.

Just like there were multiple routes to get to the Grand Canyon, there are multiple ways to achieve your goals and make daily decisions in marriage.

However, that is not how we see it when our spouse has another way of doing things, am I right? In an instant, we are right, and they are wrong. Instead of sitting down and talking through all of the options, we go into an all-out war to prove who is the winner and who is the loser.

In those moments of disagreement, we need to use the tool of compromise.

Compromise happens when both sides listen actively and work together to move in the same direction. You use this tool to work together as a team instead of fighting to see who is right.

Compromise means both people may have to make certain changes to accomplish the task at hand. It's also a way you can love your spouse well. By considering their opinion, you are showing them through your actions that you value and appreciate them.

Although important, compromise doesn’t happen naturally. It requires a change of heart on our part.

So how do we get this change of heart? We get into the Word of God and we become more like Christ. When we spend time in His Word, we will start to take on His unselfish love and concern for others and compromise will come more easily.

A lot of unnecessary damage has happened in marriage because the tool of compromise was not used. Let’s change that today.

Next time you disagree with your spouse, pause and consider their opinion. Be open to the idea that there are multiple ways to arrive at the destination.

Marriage is an adventure. You and your spouse will see and experience so much more (and be much happier) if you are willing to explore compromise in your relationship.

Prayer

Lord, I know compromise is a tool that will grow my marriage and help me to love my spouse well. However, I also know it is extremely hard to put into action when I want things a certain way. Help me, Lord, to be open to different routes to the same destination. Be with my spouse and me as we work together as a team to find common ground. Amen

Action

Start today by digging into the Word and becoming more like Christ. Then the next time you find yourself in a disagreement with your spouse, PAUSE, and ask yourself how Jesus would respond. Instead of instantly shutting them down, start a dialogue, ask clarifying questions, and work through several different options to get to your desired goal.