Insecureنموونە

Where was Peter?

John 19 verses 25-27 details who was present at the cross. In John's gospel, he mentions specifically four women and one of the disciples present there as Jesus suffered on the cross. We can assume the disciple near the cross is John since he always referred to himself in his writings as the disciple that Jesus loved. Both John and Peter secretly followed the soldiers as they brought Jesus to the high priest. It was the two of them who waited there, hoping to hear news of his release. But where was Peter now? Why was he not present at the cross? 

Was it fear that was keeping him away? Or was it his shame? We know from the other gospel accounts that the moment the rooster crowed, Peter realized that Jesus's prediction had come true. He had denied him three times, just as Jesus said he would. We find Peter leaving the scene weeping bitterly. (Luke 22:62) I can't imagine the guilt, the torment, and the embarrassment Peter was feeling due to his denial of Jesus. Shortly before, he boasted to Jesus that he was ready to go to prison and death with him. (Luke 22:33) Rather than standing alongside Jesus, he denied him and had failed him. 

Shame has a way of weighing us down and keeping us from doing what we know we ought to do. Peter was one of Jesus's closest disciples, and he should have been there with him in his hour of need. 

Daily Challenge: How about you? Is shame holding you back from doing what you ought to do? Sometimes when we have let down a loved one or disappointed someone we care about, the embarrassment of our failure can keep us from doing the things that will help heal that strained relationship. Pray and ask God to give you the courage to release your past to him. Make a choice not to let shame keep you from doing what you know you want and ought to do.