Day 3: Letting Go of Our Fears

I’ve always struggled with fear in some way, whether it’s the fear of failure, of missing out, of not being enough, or of not having control. And ever since Jeff and I got engaged, I’ve struggled with traveling. I love that it’s part of our job and calling, and we have made a million memories throughout our travels. However, the unknown, the disruptions to our normal, the long hours and long flights—not to mention having little ones who still require four suitcases each because of diapers and pack-and-plays and strollers—are hard for this homebody girl who loves her routine and knowing what to expect in a day.

When we’re traveling, everything seems completely out of my control, and that feels scary. And if we don’t all go, then that usually means I’m parenting by myself for an extended period of time.

Sometimes the fear is so thick I have trouble breathing. My breaths feel shallow; my heart races; my mind gets foggy. Even after my husband and I walked through some counseling with our mentors, and talked through how my fears affected our marriage, my fear did not disappear. It didn’t suddenly go away when I confessed it to the Lord.

But my thinking is now different. I know that I can no longer say, “I’m just a fearful person,” or “Fear will always have a hold on me.” I can’t use that excuse anymore; I can’t believe that lie.

Rather, when I feel fearful, I know that it’s because I’m trying to tight-fist my life. My hands are closed, trying to hold tightly to my life and the unknowns and things I have no control over. I have to practice opening my hands, taking deep breaths, and reminding myself that God is Warrior King. Even though I still feel some decisions are too much for me, God gives me the grace to hope, trust, and release.

Is there a fear you are grasping tightly to today? Ask God for the grace to release it so that you can live in hope and trust.