Hope Heals In The Midst Of Sufferingنموونە

"Forging hope as God uses your sufferings to bless future generations"

{KATHERINE} During one of my darkest moments, I was losing the will to live. After my stroke, I had lost the ability to eat. On Thanksgiving, I was wheeled into our living room to watch others in my family play with our son, James. I didn’t have the strength to hold my head up because my neck wasn’t strong enough, yet they could toss him in the air and chase him around the room.

Has God made a mistake? I thought to myself. Should I have died? I can’t even walk or eat or play with my child. I’ve gone from wearing cute clothes to wearing adult diapers and hospital gowns. Jay could marry a normal, able-bodied woman, and James could have a normal mommy. I should be in heaven right now and end everyone’s suffering.

Suddenly I felt a deep awakening of the word of God, which I had known since I was a little girl: “Katherine, you are not a mistake. I don’t make mistakes. I know better than you. I AM God, and you’re not. Remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made in your mother’s womb, and that is when the AVM formed in your brain.

There is purpose in all of this. You’ll see. Jay could never, ever marry a woman as amazing as you. James could never have a mommy like you. Your stroke will teach him more than anything you could ever do or say….You will see my goodness in the land of the living.”

In that moment, God met me and implanted a hope deep within my soul that gave me fresh perspective and determination to carry on. At that moment and with each passing day, Jay and I learned not to hang out in the place of fear or “What if’s?”

I had been diagnosed infertile after my stroke, but 7 years later God allowed me and Jay to miraculously conceive, and another beautiful boy was born, John Nestor Wolf. In Genesis 41:51, Joseph named his firstborn son Manasseh, “For God has made me forget all my hardships and all my father’s house,” and the next son, Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.”

Suffering does not keep the Lord from blessing us. We can receive both hardship and blessing from his hand because He is our loving father.