Raising Joy-Filled Kidsنموونە

The four habits of raising joy-filled kids can be remembered as the ABCDs of parenting. A is attunement. B is building bounce. C is correcting with care. D is developing disciplines relationally. 

Let’s start with attunement. To attune is to read the emotions of another person and meet them in those emotions. Is my child grumpy, pouting, withdrawn, happy, or anxious? I don’t want to skip over those emotions, or shame them for having them. I want to acknowledge those emotions and share them before I do anything else. 

Weeping endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). We weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). Connecting with people in their upset emotions lets them know we care. We don’t just see them as a problem to fix, we care about the emotions they feel. 

• Happy and Sad 

Play a game with your kids called “happy and sad.” In this game each child and parent shares one thing from their day that made them sad followed by three things that made them happy. This gives everyone a chance to attune to the sad emotion and model returning to joy from that emotion. You can change the negative emotion each day. Sadness, Anger, Disgust, Shame, Fear, and Despair. By spending a little time each day modeling that it is normal to have these emotions and that bouncing back from them involves returning to joy you help to build these skills in yourselves and your children. We attune when we share the emotions with each other. We build bounce when we end with joy and peace.