Better Words, Better Actions: PraiseLive's 30 Day Devotionalنموونە

It was a winter night in Minnesota, and a couple of girlfriends and I had just completed training on inner healing. I left feeling a range of emotions: excited that I learned new tools, nervous for what this meant in my healing journey, and frustrated because God had highlighted a family member that I needed to forgive, and I wasn’t ready.

As we drove to the restaurant for dinner, I was quiet while I internally processed why I wasn’t ready to forgive. I was going through the invisible scorecard I had kept of all of the wrongs they had done to me and I could feel my face burn with anger. In the front seat, my friend asked me if I was ok and if I wanted to talk about what I was internalizing. I was afraid to speak because I didn’t know what would come out of my mouth. To this day, I don’t remember what I said, but my friend looked me in the eyes with so much compassion and empathy and asked if I was ready to forgive this person. The internal war was intense, and the pause after the question felt like an eternity. I told her no, and she waited a few minutes and then reminded me that God commands us to forgive one another. I was fuming! Couldn’t she understand? She heard the case I made against this person. My bottom lip was quivering, and the palms of my hands were sweaty. It took everything inside me to mutter, “fine.” She then practiced the new tools we had just learned, forgiving this person for each offense and then blessing them.

That night was the beginning of my journey from healing from my past. I wish I could tell you that it was a one-time prayer, and I felt peace and love for that person, but it wasn’t. It was in God’s kindness that I was able to heal one layer at a time. I learned to trust Him with my heart as it was locked shut with steel doors and brick walls.  I probably had to forgive this person over 100 times. I went to counseling, learned boundaries, and learned how to become a powerful communicator by keeping my love on.

Today, my relationship with this person is flourishing. We enjoy spending time together and are making new memories. This person has also invested in their healing. I can say with confidence that I have forgiven them.

I needed the Lord to search and do heart surgery on me so that I could walk in greater freedom and joy!

Dr. Caroline Leaf says, “Don’t blame yourself for what was not in your control. What you can control is how you choose to heal. Your past does not define your present or future.”

Reflection Question:

Ask Jesus if there is anyone that you need to forgive. If so, start the process and journey of forgiveness.

Praise + Prayer:

Father God, Thank you for Jesus and for what He did for us on the cross. He has provided us forgiveness and eternal life. Search me, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Help me to trust You with my heart. Amen.

Action Idea:

Read a book or listen to a sermon about forgiveness or find a Christian counselor who can help you heal from your past.