Showing Empathyنموونە

Empathy Gets Dirty

Empathy is hard. It takes a planned effort for us to actually become empathetic people. Sure, some of us are wired this way, but many of us aren’t. We say things like, “I just don’t have empathy for people” or “I don’t know what he’s going through so I can’t help.” We think it’s something we’ll never grow in. But, we can. Even if we don’t understand their exact situation, empathy seeks to get to their level in order to comprehend their viewpoint. We can grow and become empathetic when we choose to.

When we act and live empathetically, we’re basically taking on someone else’s burden and making it partially ours. That can cause discomfort to us in just about every area—emotionally, physically, financially, to name a few. And it’s usually a reason people don’t want to get into the weeds of someone’s life. Like we stated in Day 1, feeling compassion and sympathy is great, but it’s just how we feel. When we act on those feelings, that’s when empathy is displayed in our lives and helps others.

To help us fully understand the impact of empathy and how we can grow in this area, here are some examples of the differences between feeling sympathy and acting empathetically:

Sympathy feels bad for the friend who lost their spouse.
Empathy goes to visit them and dives into the ugliness of grief.

Sympathy feels sorry for the person who got laid off from a job.
Empathy meets this person for lunch and helps them find a new job.

Sympathy feels sorry for the addict who keeps failing at staying sober.
Empathy sets up a plan to help and provide freedom and accountability in this person’s life.

Let’s be honest. Living where we employ empathy is uncomfortable and is often why we don’t want to do it. Sometimes we’ve been through our own share of struggles where the pain was intense, and the last thing we want to do is uncover it so that we can feel for someone else. We also think that just because our experience isn’t the exact same as theirs that we can’t help. Our experiences don’t have to be equal. We just have to be willing to help someone walk through the pit they’re in. Empathy makes the decision to dive headfirst into that pit and not be bothered by inconvenience or messiness.