Daily Journey Through the Great Fast With the Early Churchنموونە

We all struggle in our faith. Maybe sometimes questions arise, maybe sometimes we are set like an unmovable concrete foundation. However, I think a common struggle we all face is struggling with horrendous thoughts of failure and not living up to some standard - the struggle with the idea of not being enough. We struggle letting go and we struggle submitting to the One who is able to resolve and Whoisenough.

Even before writing this, just sitting and meditating on the Gospel reading, I struggled with how to express my lack of faith at times. Try this exercise: write down all the things you are struggling with - for me it was eight made up lies I tell myself that prohibit me from just letting go and trusting God. A somewhat lengthy list holds me back from trusting in God’s power and authority over these lies. How people view me, my inability to express myself, my success in work, my struggle to be the best spouse I can be, etc.

We have good intentions and want to do what’s good, but why are we unable to see all the miraculous things God has done before and can do again? Why do we always think “I am the exception to this”?

In Luke chapter 9, the disciples, who truly did care for the people asked to send them away so they may eat, but their solution was of their own – God’s way was greater.When Jesus heard His children needed to eat, He did not send them away, instead He kept them under His care - He had compassion on them.

The disciples, unsure of how the people will be fed, told Jesus “we haveonlyfive loaves of bread, and two fish..” [Luke 9:13] - why were they doubting there could be a greater story here? It’s like when we sell ourselves short “I am only a [fill in profession]” - why do we do that? We don’t even realize we are being negative, but we are throwing doubt all over how great the work God is able to do in us! I mean, just that morning Jesus changed hearts and healed many who were sick (Luke 9:11) - so where was the hesitation coming from? Because we have very little faith in God, very little trust. When we ask a friend or loved one to do something for us, we are trusting them to take care of whatever task we asked of them, in the same way, we must make our petitions to God and trust in Him that as a Loving Father, who wants what’s best for us, will supply our every need (Phillipians 4:19) - if we trusted Him as we trust a friend, family member or even as much as we trusted in ourselves, neither would we nor the entire world suffer so much!

Those five loaves and two fish were plenty for Jesus. He took what little they had and transformed it to feed THOUSANDS.

Read that again,Jesus took what little the disciples had and transformed it for the greater good and glory of His name.

There are so many lessons here, but one that always stuck out to me was the example of what Jesus did before He performed this miracle.Everything God does is intentional, nothing is careless.Jesus set for us the way to be transformed, presenting what we have and even how the change happens. Before Jesus performed the miracle, and in His beautifully organized way, He had the disciples sit the people down in groups of fifty. How often do we skip over this? We hear it over and over, but do we realize that He is organized, structured, intentional? The only people in life that I know to be organized, structured, intentional are people that are wise beyond years, they are the ones with the plan, have seen plenty enough to know what to do and how to face any challenge, and are people of great confidence - they know what they are doing. What more could be said about our Creator?

If we want to see change in us, if we truly want to submit in faith, with humility, let us give to Him what little we have. Trust in Him. Whatever is on your own list that makes you struggle, whatever it is that is making us feel like (insert dream) cannot get done. As you submit yourself to Him, in faith that His work will be great, we must also do our part. Not carelessly, sloppy and haphazardly but organized, with a clear mind, exact, precise and determined. He is able to take all the broken pieces of the messes we are in and make them into something more beautiful than we can imagine, but our part is to first give Him all the broken pieces - He won’t transform without us first submitting the pieces Him, but you must do it with trust!

Submit to Him in faith what little you have, trusting in Him; He is the One Who is greater than all your failures. May He do magnificent work in us all.

“For, as has been said, they sought to be healed of different diseases, and because the disciples saw that what they sought might be accomplished by His simple assent, they say, Send them away, that they be no more distressed. But mark the overflowing kindness of Him who is asked. He not only grants those things which the disciples seek, but to those who follow Him, He supplies the bounty of a munificent hand, commanding food to be set before them; as it follows, But he said unto them, Give ye them to eat.” [St. Cyril of Alexandria, 5th century Patriarch of Alexandria, theologian known as the “Pillar of Faith” and a “doctor of the Church”]

“He erased the curse, he triumphed over death, he opened paradise. He struck down sin, he opened wide the vaults of the sky, he lifted our first fruits to heaven, he filled the whole world with godliness. He drove out error, he led back the truth, he made our firstfruits mount to the royal throne. He accomplished so many good deeds that neither I nor all humanity together could set them before your minds in words. Before he humbled himself, only the angels knew him. After he humbled himself, all human nature knew him. You see how his humbling of himself did not make him have less but produced countless benefits, countless deeds of virtue, and made his glory shine forth with greater brightness. God wants for nothing and has need of nothing. Yet, when he humbled himself, he produced such great good, increased his household, and extended his kingdom. Why, then, are you afraid that you will become less if you humble yourself?” [St. John Chrysostom, the 4th century Archbishop of Constantinople and a “doctor of the Church”]