Love Is a Personنموونە

“Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 TPT

Being irritated is a sign of being unloving? Wow! God’s love is a strong standard. 

Irritation can be seen in our body language and seeps from our attitudes, but irritation is most glaring in our words. An irritation is a trigger, a red-light alarm telling us to engage the Spirit’s power of self-control to hold in our harsh words. Love chooses to overlook the annoyance.

Offense is a stronger feeling—an irritation that has gone deep and taken root. Sadly, most offenses happen in our closest relationships. Painful words are said, harsh actions are taken, and offense becomes the stone you choose to pick up and carry, wounding your heart and damaging your relationship. 

Our hurts usually have a face and that’s where we direct our anger. We need something tangible, someone we can see to direct our offense and disappointment toward. We replay the reel of our offenses and rehearse the hurts, wondering if we could have said or done anything differently. We become trapped in a circular thought pattern that always brings us back to the moment of offense, where our mind and thoughts are consumed with things that have already happened and cannot be changed. We can’t make sense of it, so we try to reason through the anguish and imagine our way to justice. But reasoning will not end the pain. Our offense deepens, often spiraling into bitterness.

Bitterness and resentment are rampant in our world. Opinions have become dividing lines rather than open places of discussion. We have lost the ability to respect any viewpoint other than our own.

How can we let go of our offenses and love those who have hurt us? 

The only way to be set free from offense is by bringing it into the light, by acknowledging the incident and naming it. Then release your burden by dropping those heavy, debilitating stones into the hands of God as an act of your faith in Him. Remember, He is not blind to what happened. Justice is in His hand and on His timetable. Ask God to replace the ache from your past wounds with His healing presence. Receive His love in exchange for your pain.

Offenses cause separation but love is a bridge. Love kept Jesus at the table with his betrayer. Love washed his feet. (John 13)

Forgiveness of irritations and offenses is a practice we will have to implement over and over again because true forgiveness rarely happens immediately. But love is always here—God with us. 

As the face of your offense comes to mind, ask yourself how God sees your offender. A simple but effective question that has helped me when I’ve been hurt is: would I want that other person to live an eternity separated from Love? Imagining myself with them in Paradise helps me find compassion and changes my heart. The painful memories remain, but they no longer have power over me. 

Invite the Holy Spirit into your heart and mind as you pray, “Father, just as You forgave those who betrayed You, spat on You, and sent You to your death, I ask You to forgive this person who has wounded me. They may not even know the depth of pain this caused me. Please begin a work of forgiveness in me to heal the hurt and offense that is in my heart. Renew my mind as I focus on You rather than on my pain. Thank You for Your great love for me”.

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense…” Proverbs 17:9 NIV