Parenting Scripturesনমুনা

"Let The Word Transform Your Words"

Have you ever whined at your children because they whined at you? As though your whining and complaining about their whining and complaining would change them and stop them from whining and complaining ever again! The same with slamming doors and angry words and rolling eyes. When our children do wrong, it is unlikely that we can influence them to do the right thing if we’re mimicking their wrong behavior. However, if we do right when they do wrong, there is a good chance that we can invite our children into maturity with us!

Yesterday we talked together about letting God’s Word dwell in you richly, so that you might teach and admonish your children right, even with all wisdom. (Colossians 3:16) So often we talk back to our kids’ backtalk with a knee-jerk reaction, never slowing down to seek God in His Word. Never slowing down to consider our own right words before we speak. Perhaps that’s why our word’s lack power to get to the root of the problems (both our children’s problems and our own.) We are simply hacking at the bad fruit we see displayed in our lives.

Today we’re taking this imagery of fruit and applying it to our lives first. John 15:45 spells it out for us clearly: when we abide in God, He abides in us, and from that secret abiding-place His fruit blossoms on the boughs of our lives. While we can get super-focused on our children’s lack of spiritual fruit, God has promised us the fruit of His presence in our own lives if we abide in Him. I suggest, if we want to teach our children to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, we’ve got to seek Him first. 

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33, ESV) 

What if seeking God in His Word came first in our parenting? What if abiding in Him came first in our parenting? What if letting Him first dwell in us (richly) has the power to transform our parenting? Do you believe it? 

Abide in it if you want to be transformed by it. Because the fruit of God’s Spirit springs up in our hearts first, and from there makes its way out over our lips and into our homes each day. 

Instead of saying the same wrong things to my kids each day, I craft for myself new scripts that are based on scriptures. Here’s an example that fits with the imagery of bearing fruit in our lives. 

“Hey buddy, you don’t have the fruit of patience in your life right now. I’m not going to holler at you for what you’re lacking, but I am going to ask you what’s going on in your root system. Is your branch attached to the vine? Are you reading God’s Word and spending time with Him? Because when we’re abiding in Him, He abides in us and we do bear His fruit.” 

Since I’ve had this conversation with my boys quite a few times already, all I need to say is, “How’s your root system? Are you attached to the vine?”