No More Unglued Mama Morningsনমুনা

I AM THE MOM

I find being a mom the most stretching thing I've ever done. I carry with me evidence of this stretching. Marks on my body. Marks on my heart.

It's thrilling. Heartbreaking. Sweet. Exciting. Disillusioning. And incredibly unpredictable.

Just when I think I've figured a few things out and I'm about to shine my mommy halo, something happens. Something loud and tearful and frustratingly difficult. And I find myself knee deep in drama wondering if I will survive with any sanity at all.

It makes me laugh when I think back to being pregnant with my first child eighteen years ago. I was convinced I would die in the child birthing process. I even set up a special meeting with my doctor to go over exactly what happens in the birthing process and tearfully gave him all the reasons I was convinced I would not survive this process.

I so wish I could go stand in front of my little, um huge, pregnant self and say this:

"Honey, you will not perish giving birth. This part of motherhood will seem like a walk in the park in just a few years. You will not only survive giving birth but you are about to spend the next twenty years having your tiny little brain and your tiny little heart experience more highs and lows than you can shake a stick at. Just remember one thing ... You are the mom. That's right you da' mama. Repeat after me ... I am the Mom. I am the Mom. I am the Mom! Don't ever forget that."

Yes, I would tell my little huge pregnant self that because it's easy to forget sometimes who's really in charge. My kids want to be in charge. And while they certainly have the strong wills and wonders of leadership ... my husband is quick to remind me, it's immature leadership. Leadership that needs to be shaped and molded and corrected and reigned in.
Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV) says, "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

Philippians 4:5b-6a (NIV 1984) says, "The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything."
This reminds me I am not left to my own pitiful attempts at this daunting task but because Jesus is with me I have power. Real power. Not just theories and words given by human parenting experts whose advice may or may not work. I have power to rise up to be da' mama.

God has appointed me to be in charge which means, using the maturity and wisdom I've gained, I must shape and mold my kids. I can't let them use their immaturity and limited perspectives to dictate me.

I am the mom. Therefore I must be the mom. And one of the best ways to implement this during stressful mornings is to remember: My kid's irresponsibility will not become my emergency.

I need to communicate my expectations to the kids so they know they are going to have to own the consequences of their choices.

For example, if they wait until the last minute to print their report and the printer has no ink, then they can't print their report. They'll either have to figure out how to print it at school or turn it in late. Either way, I can't own this situation and let it throw me into frantic, fix-it mode. I let the consequences of their choices scream, so I don't have to.
I have what it takes to be the mom!

You have what it takes to be the mom!

Now, be the mom!

Not sure who else needed this little pep rally this morning. But I sure did.

MAKING IT A REALITY:

Go ahead and think through some logical and realistic consequences you can give when your kids need your correction. This is especially good to have for rushed and stressful morning routines. For example, tell them what time you expect them to be in the car ready to go. For every minute they are late, they will have to go to bed 10 minutes early that night. Six minutes late will mean they'll be heading to bed an hour early. For older kids you might want to adjust their weekend curfew time.