Shedding Shame for Surrender: Finding Healing in Gods Love a 4 - Day Bible Plan by Jackie Smith Bellনমুনা

Forgiveness Response to Shame

While the definition of 'forgiveness' is straightforward, embracing it can be complicated, especially when shame misrepresents its true nature.

UCLA psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Marmer categorizes forgiveness into three types: release, forbearance, and exoneration.

In 'release,' the offender makes no attempt to apologize or reconcile; instead, the offended person must choose to release negativity and pain to move forward.

Similarly, ‘forbearance’ observes the same approach to overcome the initial cause of hurt but withholding full relationship until good character is displayed.

Lastly, ‘exoneration,’ the third type, is what most of us hope for when seeking forgiveness to begin anew.

Reflecting on these three types of forgiveness, I realized I'd held shame from past mistakes in my heart, hindering my relationship with God and others- ultimately slowing my progress to move forward.

I struggle to forgive myself, though I easily extend grace to others. However, I recognize shame's distortion of God's mercy as Satan's lies and have learned to replace the enemy's false accusations with biblical truth about God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness over the years.

In John 21:17, Peter's life showcases God's mercy, marked by betrayal and rebellion (Matthew 26:33-35), yet forgiven and transformed to help bring others to Christ for salvation. After Jesus' death and resurrection, He met with Peter without condemnation, entrusting him with a vital mission: 'Feed my sheep.'

It's God's mercy that outweighs our shame, exonerates us from past mistakes, and gives us new life.

Neither Peter nor any of us, as God's sons and daughters, need to be shackled with the bondage of sin because of Jesus Christ's work on the cross.

Through Jesus' death and resurrection, we can lay aside all hindrances of sin, knowing He endured the cross to remove shame and sat at God's right hand (Hebrews 12:1-2), enabling those who trust Him to shed the bondage of shame's despair and walk into joy and gladness of new life, fighting against feelings and thoughts that counter the Lord's purpose for our lives.

How? I like to use the acronym 'S.H.E.D.' to remember God's mercy, grace, and forgiveness while forming a relationship with Him.

Spend time in God’s Word.

When suffering the pain of shame or guilt, open your Bible and ask the Lord to transform your mind through His Word, silencing any thoughts or feelings that aren’t from Him. (Romans 12:1-2)

Hold the truth of your story.

Instead of hiding or denying your past, share the good news of God's redemptive power: He didn’t give up on you and never will. Like the woman at the well, don’t be too proud to tell others how the Lord has changed you and continues to work in you since you placed your trust in Him.

Evict negative thoughts.

These thoughts can become beliefs that control your life and lead you astray. Let go of shame’s accusations from Satan that shackle you with insecurities and accept God's free forgiveness. Park your thoughts in a better place, processing hard things and relational struggles with a clear head to untangle lies and tackle them with biblical truth.

Declare your need for help.

God didn’t create you to do life alone. Seek God for direction and pray for godly friendships. We need Christian community to speak truth, pray with us, and hold us accountable to love and pursue each other's good.

On this side of eternity, we will never be sinless; only Jesus Christ lived a sinless life. However, like Peter, when we accept God’s gracious gift of forgiveness through faith in Him, we can shed our shame and regrets and walk boldly in the new life and ministry to which God has called us.

Embracing our identity as believers forgiven by God surpasses all other identities, and in Him, we are fully loved and redeemed as His children, making His response the most relevant narrative about our healing story of redemption. If shame from your own mistakes or another person's sin against you affects you, remember that your Healer loves you with compassion and will complete the redemption work begun in you; your story isn't over.

Affirmation: In Christ, I am free from sin and renewed, with God's faithfulness securing my worth. New mercies greet me daily, and His Spirit guides me with loving grace. I am enough because He made me so, and I will anchor my identity in these truths, walking in His love today and forever more. Amen.

Reflection Questions- Given what we've studied together over the past four days, what beliefs or actions are necessary to confidently live out these biblical truths?

Was this plan encouraging? Do you want to keep affirming God's love and devotion? Get your copy of the Affirmation Cards here! https://jackiesmithbell.myflodesk.com/sheddingshameaffirmations